‘Parasite’ or ‘Pain’ for life? December 23, 2011 10:49
At least in practicality love is not just about giving all the time. For any kind of relationship to survive or last long, the give and take of time, love, affection and sometimes even money has to be 100% from both the sides. If either of the partners would miss at least one amongst all these, then the problem is but natural to arise in any kind of a relationship. And if only one amongst the two is at the giving end at all times, after certain point of time, there are all the chances likely that this person would feel ‘used’ by the other person in the relationship. It is sad but truth that the person’s thought of being ‘used’ is not just the thought, but ‘reality’ in many scenarios. And the person who is on the taking end all the time can be tagged as a ‘emotional parasite’. All these dialogues like ‘love is all about giving and not expecting anything back in return’, ‘even if you do not get love from the other person, you should always look at giving that unconditional love, trust and support to that person’, ‘expecting nothing is a true meaning of love’, can be good at books or some films, but not in reality for sure. For the simple reason being, just like others even we are human beings and even we would expect the other person to at least match to our expectations. Though it is very painful to accept the reality is that you have been royally used by the other person, in all means in the name of a marital relationship, love, friendship and to our disguise sometimes even with our children or parents. Rather than living and striving for the survival of that kind of a relationship, that is of no use, and yourself respect is at a stake, it is better to get rid of from that trauma, live and understand life and what do you want, and then look for getting into a relationship that has a meaning and where your emotions are valued. Now, first of all, how to understand if the person with whom you are in any kind of relationship is just an ‘emotional parasite’? apart from the basic fact that, if anything wrong is happening with you, you have a common sense of sensing it, these are some of the examples of describing that person in your life, who just wants to take from you and never give back; Emotional parasites are all for you in the beginning They will withdraw when they get what they want » They excel at inciting guilt. They can be drama kings/Queens and when even they need you, they have readymade answers why were they not available when you needed them. Trust me, the answers they give make us feel guilty about our so called ‘wrong’ perception about them. They run away from responsibility Now, the challenge is how to deal with these, as if you just end the relationship, to our disguise, they can also play a role of ‘psycho’, dragging our peace to hell. You might try; Check their motive list and see what they want from you. Try to avoid giving them the same. Say ‘no’ to them but in their way that is making them feel guilty about their perception of making you stand ‘wrong’. Be unavailable to them for some time. This should however not be that you are avoiding them. Your behavior should be very natural. Even though, it is a diplomatic way to blame the situation even when anything goes wrong in your relationship, please understand the person with whom you are in a relationship is not a kid. So, despite whatever might be the situation, that person might behave and have done things as per his complete knowledge itself. One sided relationship might be accepted in fiction, but definitely not in the reality. SunayanaVinay Kumar
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‘Truth’ or ‘Dare’? December 22, 2011 13:54
Or ‘Truth’ and ‘Dare’. At any cost, do not want to let the truth out? Thinking on what lie to be told to escape from the situation you are in now? Just stay there for a second. When you give hundred reasons for hiding the truth and covering it up with a lie, I would give you only Five reasons of why you should not be dishonest, no matter what it the situation; You and I have experienced this nth time, but still choose to do the same. In the process of hiding the reality and cooking up some story, we just not end the same with one. To cover one truth, if not hundred, we at least lie Ninety nine times and many times would be caught up, when not able to relate these faults with one another. Then what? We end up living in guilt, on cheating on them who believed us the most. Is all this nonsense required? What are we afraid of? Let’s stand up for the truth. You accept or not, when you lie, there is a inherent negative emotion that carries all through our mind. We might escape from the situation at that time, but this emotion would not get out so soon from our mind. Hiding the truth may be some times a necessity, but going on, this would become a habit and we would end up forgetting what the ‘truth’ is, as we would be so used to lie in each situation. This is not only a negative impact about us amongst others, but the more we think and act on not being truth, the more chances of us in adapting a life style that is completely loaded with a false perception. This would completely throw us away from the reality. Whom we are making live in a false impression with our lie? Our loved ones?Our spouse? People in the Organization we work? Our friends? In any case, all these are related to us in somewhere or the other. So, this definitely means we are not cheating the World, but we are cheating ourselves first. And if you are trying to get rid of this habit, and live life without any guilt, then here are some suggestions that can help you attain your desire; Not just deciding, implement the same. Once you have decided no more hiding the truth, imply the same in each and every situation you face. Be it the toughest situation that can drag you to problems or smallest situation that makes no difference if you lie or tell the truth. It is for you and for you peace of mind, you should just stick on telling the truth. The root cause or the major reason for us to even think of hiding the truth with a lie, in the threat of losing our loved ones in case they get to know the reality. But, when these same loved ones of yours get to know that you have cheated them by hiding the truth, will they stay with you? If your loved ones are understanding and matured enough to think in the situation you were in and that made you to do or not to certain things, they would understand you, if not, till what time you can hold them, keeping them in a false impression? So, be firm and be what you are. Only if you are bold enough and possess that dare to face the truth, you would stick to projecting the situation as what it is. So, be bold and remember the rest of the World has nothing to do with what you are. If you are answerable then it is for you and the loved ones who live for you… Get up; get going in transforming the ‘truth’ in you! SunayanaVinay Kumar
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Marketing, a funda for ‘life’! December 21, 2011 16:40
You might be a Software professional or a Human Resource expert or in a teaching professional or a Marketing professional as well. Marketing your positives and proving how you are different from others, that too in the organization you are working has become the major asset for the growth of your career. You might have come across certain set of people who just wait to create a situation to talk about their achievements, mind set and why they are so special (well, they think so), in your organization. This we call as ‘miss sell’ in a proper Marketing terminology. Marketing yourself does only mean, you taking the first step and letting the organization recognize your work and strengths, which would fetch and make you prove different from others. So, even before you think of marketing your achievements, just be careful on let not this be a barrier to your career. Now, you are an Employee just like thousands or at least hundreds of other employees who are doing their best in their given profile. But, there would be some quality that makes you stand special among the rest of the crowd. Be it extra ordinary communication skills, diction, presentation capability, delivering timely output, handling last moment work pressure and tensions, handling the queries of the client with an ease, capable in multi-tasking or whatever it might be. Just concentrate on that major outstanding quality of yours speak first. Every day is a surprise for you so there would be no limit for the situations that arise where you can prove your worth over and again. So, just don’t wait to grab that situation and make the complete use of it in your favor. Never hesitate to take up that ‘extra’ work when it actually requires someone to come forward and take the initiative to do it. be smart enough while accepting to do the same, so that others especially your superiors should have a knowledge it is you who have taken the initiative and handled the work. It is not just work and you, you should also involve yourself in training the new joiners, giving a valuable suggestions during the team meetings, chilling out utmost during the team outings, being an active participant during all those Annual or Company days and yet all these not affecting your work in any negative. Though it is a known fact, in a hurry of giving a faster output, we do not even bother to listen and understand the work handed over to us, completely. We tend to complete the work, putting whatever knowledge we possess and many times end up doing half work. So, listen and understand the nature of the work and get complete clarity on how it can be handled. A work done with cent percent knowledge on it would definitely can’t be wrong. Just do not wait for the opportunities, instead grab them. Market your capabilities, strengths to grow in the Organization you are working and let your weakness turn to be the stepping stones for the success in your life. SunayanaVinay Kumar
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How To Create Balance in Your Life? December 20, 2011 19:00
Many people are stuck with a lack of balance in their life. There are many areas of life including working or taking action, learning, taking care of our health, spending time with loved ones, and just relaxing. When you focus too much on one area and forget about the rest it can negatively affect you by encouraging stress, anxiety, and health problems to come along. For example, if you work too much you may not take any time to relax and enjoy life, and this can burn you out and cause you to become sick, frazzled, and even depressed. Relaxation and recuperating is important in life in order to be happy and feel balanced. On the other hand, if you take too much time laying on the couch you can let life pass you by and forget about your dreams, goals, and health. This can have a negative affect on your health and ability to be happy as well, because you are not focusing on things that will make you feel accomplished and alive. Balance may not be the same for everyone. One person may feel balanced when they put more focus on work and less on relaxation, but they still put focus on other areas of their life, and that's the key to balance. You have to enjoy a well-rounded life that doesn't just consist of one thing or the other. Some Tips to Help You Create Balance 1. Learn To Listen To Your Body Your body knows when it's time to take a break and when it's time to get moving. It's craving that balance that it needs. You just need to tune into your body and listen to it! If you have been working too hard you will get signals that you need to relax. You may feel stressed which is a sign of not taking time to relax and recoup. You may feel like you are drifting away from your family which is a sign of not spending time with loved ones. You may be gaining weight which is a sign of sitting behind your desk too much. There are many signs that you may be getting and once you tune into them you will find it easy to understand what you need in order to feel balanced again. The trick is actually doing it! 2. Learning to Say No It's not going to help much if you listen to your body but don't take action on what it's telling you. Often this is because you are afraid to say no. For example, even though you know you need to relax and recoup, your boss asks you to work extra hours, so you say yes instead of taking the break you need. Another common example is that you may feel as though you need to get out and exercise but your favorite TV show has come on and you don't want to miss it (or say no) so you ignore your body and watch the show instead. You have to willing to listen to your bodies signals and respect them if you want to create balance in your life. Your health and happiness is more important than a few extra hours at work or a TV show. Keep that in mind when debating to say yes or no. 3. Create a Balance Checklist I have a balance checklist sitting right beside my computer. It contains a list of all the things I think are important to create balance like working, learning, exercising, meditating, and spending time with my husband. Every day I try to do each thing on my list. If I'm successful I feel always balanced at the end of the day, and if I'm not successful it's usually because I got signals to work more for the day or relax more for the day, which makes me feel good as well. You can create a balance sheet by listing all the things you think are important to you in life. Then create a table of Monday to Sunday and put your list under each day. As you go along with your week make sure to pay attention to the list and check off the individual tasks as you go along. Your objective should be to check off as many things on your list as you can. Not only will creating a list to maintain balance help you stay balanced throughout the day, but soon you will find that creating balance in your life will become a habit and you will no longer need your checklist.
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The Power of Today! December 19, 2011 13:03
‘Yesterday, all day long, I was doing nothing much, rather than thinking ‘What Next?’… Might because yesterday is a Sunday and generally that Sunday Syndrome of being numb was ruling me… thinking about too many things that are related to near future at a time… despite of ‘thinking’ not able to get any solution for any issue… whatever the reason could be, I can say that my Sunday was a night mare yesterday… But what made me think so much? When I tried answering the question at the end of the day yesterday, I finally got the root cause for my bad day. Yesterday morning, my Hubby was confirmed with an offer from a company and the Profile that he actually was striving to be in… but, as a part of his job, he is supposed to go the client place and ‘family’ is not allowed to go with him. It seems the organization has agreed to my Hubby visiting to home town from client’s place once in three months and that too for 15 days or so… In the situation we are and when we prioritize our necessities, this is a Golden opportunity for my hubby to move further in his career. And to the kind of experience he holds, no matter what ever might be the organization, he would be offering this kind of a profile only. So, the only option he has is to take up the job and work like this for atleast 2 years. After that, he can look further to take up a big project that runs for couple of years, that allows him to take his spouse with him, to the client place. Now, I should be happy for my Hubby as he is settling down in his desired career? I should be sad because I need to live 2 years of my life all alone, without him? There were many other issues that were bothering me as well… it has been three years that we got married and this is a right time to plan for a kid, but with this kind of a situation right now, I can’t even think for a while about having a kid… I am so very used to him from past three years after marriage and three years before marriage when we are seeing each other, that living without him atleast for some time is impossible for me… what I should do? Shall we plan for a kid right away and I should handle my pregnancy and 1st year of my baby all alone? Or I should wait for 2 long years to complete and once we are together, plan for a baby then? Too many questions were ruling my mind… not able to bear the same I have let out my anguish and cried my heart out… Oh! I was relaxed then… it is very true that once you are calm and composed the thought process of your mind changes for positive… I was only happy that my Hubby is settling down in his desired career… I prepared myself to live alone and continue my job for some time now… I have also decided to enroll for further studies… I have convinced myself, ‘though he is not with me in person, but we would definitely update our each day with each other, chat, share our emotions, and thanks to the technology that helps us to be together despite of we not being together physically. And when it comes to planning for a kid, then what’s harm in playing a role of a Single Mother for a while? I would be stronger, extremely positive and tough to handle any kind of a situation. Only thing is, I need to be a bit more patient and possess some more amount of planning, to handling Mother Hood. And more over, one good thing is he would be visiting me once in 2 or 3 months and you never know, my hubby might get placed in a big project and I would be with him soon… Along with this change in thoughts I have decided to live in today and take tomorrow as it comes… after all, I can’t let go any moment in ‘Today’, thinking too much about ‘Tomorrow’! SunayanaVinay Kumar
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Majority of Indian Women are Single December 19, 2011 09:57
Most Indian women these days have taken the risk of experimenting with relationships and sexuality. It has made them bolder than ever. No more marriage is a must and should policy and society prerequisite. They are defining their own terms and conditions. The only thing that most women look for is ‘compatibility’ Bangalore based analyst firm Silicon India today stated that the 2011 India's census revealed that there are only 940 women for every 1000 men. Though the number is very close margin, it is found that majority of Indian women are single. What is stopping them from mingling or choosing a life partner? Are Indian men hostile beings that they do want to interact with? Well here are few reasons that were listed out: Women these days are lot more educated, independent and are assertive. The attitude of women in the last decade has changed exceptionally. The exposure to workplaces, responsibilities and pressures have made them a lot more confident about their decisions and are able to read or judge men in various ways. Most Indian women these days have taken the risk of experimenting with relationships and sexuality. It has made them bolder than ever. No more marriage is a must and should policy and society prerequisite. They are defining their own terms and conditions. The only thing that most women look for is "compatibility". They are always on the lookout for the right balance. Neha Mehta is 36, attractive and still single. Neha lives with her parents, has no siblings and stands to inherit a fair fortune from her father. She has received numerous proposals and has even dated a few men, but there isn't a ring in sight. "Some men I've met were blessed with healthy bank balances, but they also had serious attitude problems to go with these," she explains. "And men I've met who've been perfectly amiable and charming wouldn't be able to support my lifestyle. It's hard to find the right balance." As quoted by idiva. The fast growing economy, the competitive world of the corporates and a constant battle between male counterparts for higher posts have made Indian women put work before marriage. Educated, well focused women prioritize their career over marriage and say that marriage can still wait. Intellectual, well-read women, after all, now realize that marriage is not a fairy tale. Security of the job has become very important. Some of the other reasons are - Inflated egos and problems to compromise has become a serious issue among women. Marriage which comes as package with many compromises is not well accepted by women these days and many end up in divorces as well. Some women are turning out to be workaholics as well.
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‘Problem’ or a ‘Hell’? December 17, 2011 16:27
Sampada… a clever, well educated, multi-talented, proper today’s Woman. When compared to all her colleagues, she has a capability of handling challenges; prepared for last moment hurdles; prove her worth at any given point of time. She is a responsible daughter who is a major financial support to her family as well. Above all, she is a very good human being who is well behaved, well-mannered and ethical at any given point of time. But, in some situations, she prefers living in a shell. She neither shares her emotions nor her anguish with the closest of her friends. Though she tries to be normal, she cannot and thanks to this age old problem she has been facing, from more than couple of years. Sampada is suffering from a Skin problem from 15 years now. Doctors named it as psoriasis and declared it to be a skin problem that would no way affect negative to her skin or health. Neither this problem can be solved in a given time limit, as it takes a lot much time for her to get cured completely. All the exposed areas of her bodyare it face, neck, hands and legs, this problem is quite visible. All this put together, made Sampada to think and be what she actually is not. She prefers not to go out to as much as Social gatherings, just move along with some set of close friends, and totally transform herself as a introvert. It is not just Woman like Sampada, who are suffering with a skin problem; many others are actually living in insane. Be it an internal or external problem, it is all about how do we take it and accept the same. Of course, the external problem faced by us has a lot more impact on our life style for one reason being it is visible and our skin is not normal when compared to others. In the changing life style and priorities today, when our appearance becoming the first impression of people judging us, any skin problem right from dark circles to acne to pigmentation or any long term problem, handling the same would definitely be challenge, for those who are facing it. Answering all those questions from people asking about your problem, some others not willing to move closely with you as per their own analysis of assuming your problem to be ‘contagious’, you being treated as a person not accepted by the society and what not… the situations at times could be even more problematic than the above mentioned. But, don’t you think, considering all these, you are giving unnecessary importance to all those that don’t even have a meaning. Whatever the problem you are facing, it is you who have to live with it, answer the same and cure it. When no other who can share your emotion or problem, talks about the same and let’s out their opinion on you, ‘Who are they?’ Care a damn about the World that would not stand by you when they don’t understand you. Treat any problem as just a problem and nothing more. You accept your problems and never be in a guilt and hide them. Think and act on curing them rather than cursing yourself for what you are not responsible. It is your life, your skin and whatever you are, you accept yourself first. Live life, rather than making it a hell! SunayanaVinay Kumar
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‘Anger’ – an unusual emotion in usual situations? December 16, 2011 15:37
Who does not get Angry? Different mind sets would react different in a given situation. And similarly, we all express our anger in different ways. We might become absolutely speech less when we are angry or create a hell around us or break all the available furniture and accessories around us, including our Mobile Phones. Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. Let’s find out on ways to control anger, even before it controls us and strains our relationships; Take a deep and continuous breath. Count up to 50 or imagine your aggressor just naked, only in socks. This will help you to calm and smile. Have a walk. Look at high sky. Continue to breathe deep and easily. So you appraise the situation and calm down. Do some physical exercises. When you are angry- your body is very tensed and tough. If you stretch your muscles it will relax your body, as you will spill out all your negative energy into action. Your brains will get more oxygen and it assists to clear your thoughts. Write down all your thoughts. Write down that you are mad and why. Avoid being rational, logical or laconic. Write on paper all you are feeling this moment. Try to write all in details. The function of this technique is to shift all your anger out of your head on paper. Be grateful. Find someone to thank. Do you not forget about yourself. Thank that you have woken up today, thank that that the Sun is shining for you, that the sky is blue and the grass is green. Ask God to be with you during this anger moment and lead you. If you don’t believe in the concept of God, you should atleast believe in the concept of Spirituality and the Super Natural Power creating immense amount of positive energy in us. Then, believe in the same. Meditation. Close your eyes, look into solar plexus, and be all your anger, breathing deeply. Change of places. Move yourself on your enemy’s place. And look at situation from his point of view. Better look at the situation from the ceiling. Focus on details, especially on funny and absurd ones. Strive to forgive your enemy as well as forgive truly yourself. Go back to your childhood memories. Recollect state when you were angry. Hug this child and say: “All is ok. I am here. You are good child. I love you and I will not leave you.” What is the most significant thing in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Think and accept that point that you are living your life, and you are living your values. There is a good man inside you that wants to help you. Let this anger get out of you, and you transform into a more lovable individual!
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Vexed up with ‘Ex’? December 15, 2011 17:32
Who does not make mistakes in life? So did we by being in a relationship with that wrong person who is perfectly not suited to our life and mind set. After realizing the same, we chose to part ways with him and it has been couple of years or atleast months that we moved ahead in our lives. May be because he could not find better option for him than you or it could be as simple as his male ego getting dominated and he wanting you back in your life, to satisfy the same, whatever the reason could be, your ‘Ex’ started getting in touch with you and clearly putting forward his desire to get back to you is one such scenario that you might facing in your life right now. Despite of you clearly making him understand that you no more want him in your life, neither have plans to get back to him and even if you are seeing someone you letting him know the same and letting him k now you have moved on in your life, nothing brings a change in him. He is just stick to one and that is he wants you back in your life. you can definitely approach all those Woman protection cells, Police Stations and take legal measures to get rid of him, depending upon the seriousness of the problem and if you sense your ‘Ex’ is for sure likely to become a problem creator for your future. But, before taking any further major step like this, wait a moment and think of handling this issue within yourself only. Of course, when the same becomes hopeless, you definitely not even wait for a second to take the help of elders. But, before that try; Talking to your ‘Ex’ firmly, one last time and asking him to move ahead as you did. Explain him you both are very good human beings but just not made for each other. You can also tell him, even if you get back to him on his force, you can never love him unconditional. Be settling at the same time insensitive while explaining all this to him. The more aggressive or abusive you are and the more you try to provoke him to behave rude and harsh to you that could lead to a disaster at times. If you are speaking to him over phone, then be careful you may lose no temper, neither get emotional, you just need to be right. Follow the same, even if you meeting him in person, but then let you close friend or sibling or event your parent if you want to, be in a close area watch you, don’t ever switch off your phone, be alert about his moves as well. Even if he does not even think of altering his behavior even after you doing everything to explain him the situation, then change your mobile number if you can and apart from those you trust completely and close to you, don’t let any other, apart from you family know about your number. Try avoiding him as much as you can. If you can, you can take family members help as well or atleast some from the family in order to just be with you while you are out of your home. Be intelligent enough to get out of him. Don’t let any of your emotion known by him. Do all the drama of you not being understanding him, you can make him be happy and this relationship cannot be handled by you, but try conveying him the message. Don’t mess up things by letting out your problem to be discussed in public. Keep it to yourself and your close ones and try solving it rather than discussing about it and coming out with no solution. In many scenarios, we over react to the situation and when particularly if it has anything to do with our past or future. We women refuse to agree but even in case of handling our ‘Ex’, we react more than we should. This behavior of us would lead to many issues. So, just act according to the situation. Don’t just get threatened if your ‘Ex’ is behaving with you like that. Even if you have done any mistake while in relationship with him, its okay. you don’t start hating yourself and give a chance to him to black mail you more. Just be confident and just as you reap good results, face the darker side of your life as well. People who understand you would definitely be with you. No need to hide anything with people around you about your past in the fearing of losing your loved ones and create more problems from the past as well. It is all about how you get rid of your ‘Ex’ in a smooth way for that one last time. So, be care full. SunayanaVinay Kumar
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‘Sadness’ ruling you? December 14, 2011 12:24
I would consider yesterday as one of the worst day of mine in recent times. Everything was fine at work and at home. Since the moment I got up, I was so lost and in what thoughts, absolutely no clue. All the cooking and handling house hold work, getting to work, working till evening and completing my tasks for that day, and getting back to home, completing the remaining tasks including having dinner and watching T.V were so mechanically done by me, that I am not even knowing how to explain the life less emotion and inherent sadness that was ruling me. It was at the time of getting back to bed, I started realizing with what a ‘Depressed’ mind set, I have spent my day. Tried figuring out the root cause of my dullness but ended up finding out nothing. But came up with a fact atleast that this is not the first day that I am experiencing such clueless emotion all day long. Be it frequent or once in a while, certain days of my life are going ‘Blue’ with no ‘Clue’. And in a day or two, I am being normal with no other option or some funny incident making me laugh. However, the challenge is to be normal when you are occupied with so ‘abnormal’ emotion. You can call it ‘Sadness’ or even ‘Depression’ at times, based on the situations, but at times it so gets over and rules your mind, getting out of it for you becomes damn difficult. Well, though there is no exact reason for this kind of an emotion ruling your mind, n number of reasons such as unhealthy atmosphere at home and work place, routine life style, you wanting to change certain things in your life and not being able to do the same when it comes to ‘real’, all your plans not taking a positive turn, working for more than six months continuously without taking a break, and depressing past that you cannot change but have to accept the same and you not being able to practice the same and so on can put together and make you feel ‘Idle’, ‘Sad’ and ‘depressed’. It so feels like your mind has stopped working for some time. now, the concept is how do we get out of such a mindset? Why don’t you try these? I have tried some of them and it worked for me though; Just leave whatever work you are doing. If you can, take off from work that day. Don’t even force yourself to complete all the tasks and cook at home. just let your family know that you want to drive to dinner along with them. Forget everything else and just chit chat, do masti with your loved ones. Now, be it family, friends or best colleagues, spending time with them, particularly when your mindset is not proper would work wonders for you. Remember; don’t discuss what’s going in your mind with them. Sing, dance, play and let out that sadness out from you. And exercising every day for atleast 30 minutes be it walking or swimming or any other mode of exercise would not only keep you healthy but also would help your mind stay fit. Go watch that comedy film, just relax, don’t ever dare to think ‘what’s next’ and just chill. You will be alright. If you can, cherish all those sweet and best moments that made you happiest in your life and determine to work on inviting more such moments in your future as well. And don’t worry about your ‘sadness’. It is a emotion, just like all other emotions. So, accept it. Only then you can get out of it the sooner! SunayanaVinay Kumar
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Better Behave! December 13, 2011 15:45
Better Behave or there is not much time taken to let your peace and life out of your hands. As such we all are aware of how to behave at our work place or college or when we go out with the group of colleagues. But, at times you losing your senses and behaving out of your way that too amongst the people who does not know much about you and have no business in your life, may create a very wrong impression about you and you can also be a center of the gossip done by others. Yes, how are you concerned about all these? Why do you have to bother if anyone has to say anything about you? Do hell with the rest of the World and what everyone who has no importance in your life thinks about you. You would just be your way and do what you like. Of course, to certain extent, this attitude of yours would help you better, but it is not somebody who is talking about you. These are your colleagues, bathmats, and people you closely work and spend each day of your life. And one wrong impression or lenience given by you might lead people assuming their own perception about you and rest all would carry forward. So, it is not anyone else, but in many cases, you are the one who would be the root cause of any problem faced by you. So, ‘Better Behave’ for your better life and you can think about practicing the following; Never eve let your colleagues know what you think, how do you react to each situation, why you laugh or when you are angry. Never be an open book. Your behavior should be assertive at the same time cool and jovial, aggressive at the same time calm. Your attitude of being non predictable itself should create a thought amongst others of not taking lenience with you. Just do not slip a letter and comment on your colleague, try projecting their mistakes while highlighting your best work, comment on a personal life or habit or behavior of anyone else with the rest. Remember, if they are enjoying this kind of a talk today, tomorrow you can be the point of topic. No harm in relaxing during the work time but work should not be filler between you’re travelling time from home to office or vice versa and considering all those lunch and tea breaks of yours. The more free time you have, the more chances of you involving in all those unnecessary talks are high. So, just enjoy your work, develop your knowledge by putting your mind in some meaningful aspects and yes, take a BREAK as well. Just doing your work and leaving is considered to be a mere style of Public Sector that is not acceptable in any MNC. Doing all the work alone would prove a curse to you itself as you would end up having no time for yourself. So, learn to balance work and personal life. you need to take additional responsibilities but let them not be over your head. You need to do multi-tasking but let that not be a hurdle for you to completely finish off with your given work. Sounds tricky, but this is How today’s life is. A perfect combo of all. So, face the same, handle the same and succeed in your life! SunayanaVinay Kumar
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‘PAST’ – Hurdle to future? December 12, 2011 16:00
Anvesha, a smart intelligent and Today’s Woman. She is a Engineer by profession, working in one of the best MNC’s, earning 5 figured salary, and her name is now recommended by higher officials to handle the project from client’s place. To add to these, entire she fulfills the basic identity of a Woman that is being beautiful. Who does not want a Woman who possesses all these qualities in their life? Anvesha will soon be crossing 25 years and till date was never involved in any kind of committed, short term or emotional relationship and neither ready for settling down in life. she neither has got any male friend in her gang. All she does is as a part of her job is speaks to her male colleagues and that is strictly limited to work. Anvesha is a normal Woman like you and me, not a homo sexual, lives with her family and siblings, possess a normal life style… then why this kind of a behavior when inter acting with opposite sex, apart from her father and brother? Anvesha was 8 years old, when this ‘nightmare’ of her life happened. She was sexually assaulted by her neighbor who is almost her father’s age, that time. at that age, she neither new what is happening with her, nor had guts to speak out what was happening with her to her parents. But she definitely could sense, what was happening with her was not acceptable. It was at the time, when Anvesha fallen sick and she was admitted into the Hospital, her parents have got to know the shocking reality. However, all the measured of punishing the guilty and taking good care of Anvesha were taken. But, till date Anvesha is not able to get out of her ‘PAST’ and prefers not to live the future… Unfortunately, many amongst us are in a similar state. Be it our neighbor, teacher, or even our own sibling, relative and in a worst scenario our father, many Woman amongst us have faced the sexual assault in their childhood. Our innocence at that time did not let us understand or speak about what is happening with us. But the time we got to know what was happening with us, the worst could have already happened. All those positive and motivating talks of getting out from ‘PAST’ and living the present for a bright and happy future might not actually get into our mind as our ‘PAST’ is more negative than the ‘Positive’ of ‘Present’. And we end up living in this ‘guilt’ for a long time and some times, all through our lives… When it comes to accepting the facts of our live, be it the hike we get based on our capability, our physical appearance, our negatives and our Social status, we accept them the way they are. Then why do not we hate ourselves to accept the ‘PAST’ of our life that has happened with/without our knowledge? Who does not have a darker phase in life? And if you feel ‘your character is lost’ considering your ‘PAST’ then Baby, you are completely mistaken. All those proverbs or stories that talk about ‘Losing our character’ for life time is to prevent us from doing any mistake. Once the mistake happens, with or without your concern, and you have realized that is a mistake, then work on setting it right and that not affecting your future, rather than running from your ‘PAST’. It is your life after all, and you cannot run from accepting anything. The best way to lead your life is inculcating a thought of ‘Whatever happens in life, life has to go on’, and ‘Move On’. Rather than cursing your past, please consider those incidents has experiences that thought you to be the toughest and face the toughest in life. The ‘Present’ and the ‘Future’ is in your hands and now it is up to you, how you would design it. You want your ‘Present’ and ‘future’ ruin because of you living in ‘PAST’ or the same to be better, because of you wanting your life to be ‘BETTER’! SunayanaVinay Kumar
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