‘Dispute’ with your Partner or Family? Time to think March 12, 2012 13:08
If we believe we are human beings with lot of emotions put together then there are all the possibilities of you ending up with an dis agreement, argument, mis understanding and even in a dispute with your loved ones and people around you, whom you expect to understand you in person. Well, if you are in a thought that a dis agreement with your loved one should not lead to an dispute, then here are the major issues that can lead to any dispute with your partner or a person close to your heart… try looking into the same, apply them to the situation you are in and try finding out the ways to build your relationship with those you don’t want to let out from your life; When you feel misunderstood or you are being taken advantage of in your relationship. Your partner dominates you at all the time. If you feel that whatever you say is misinterpreted and not taken as you meant it. You find yourself weak and impotent while confront your partner. You suspect character or moral of your partner, knowingly or unknowingly or vice versa. Aversion that built up in you to have sexual relations with your partner. You have a fear that your significant other is being disloyal, deceptive or misleading you. Either your partner or you or both of you find jealous, malice, hatred or envy for each other. Certain pressure or obligation makes you speechless before your partner. It seems like you have made bad choices in relationships and now it has developed disgust feeling about partner's habits. You find your wavelength cannot be tuned to your partner's. You find yourself weak in communication and often get the wrong impression when you try to communicate with your partner or colleague You find your relations are worsened and surplus of fighting over the period. If all these are dominating your mind and despite of the constant efforts of you to work the relationship, nothing is being moved forward and on top of all these, you need to let go your personality and each and every thought of yours to keep up the relationship, then it is better to quit the relationship rather than being un happy with the same!
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Weekend Syndrome worrying You? March 10, 2012 15:46
It is not only week day but even weekend syndrome is worrying us, particularly Youngsters and all Those corporate employees to a major extent… well, the primary reason could be we are so used to working all those n number of hours together that we could not even enjoy the free time and our day with absolutely no work… as a result we end up doing nothing but waiting for next day that is filled with work and only work…We have been living with this syndrome, from ages now and letting the same continue till the time we live?? Is this true?? Should we continue with this?? Despite of people talking about we having time for ourselves and personal life, living our life and at least taking a day off from work and our routine, why are we so stuck up in our routine and work? Are we forced to think about our work? Are we so possessive about our work and career? How can we be normal for that matter? Now, you may ask me why it is so hard for us to be normal and just live our life. Well, let us at least try to find the path this most common syndrome that actually changes our life for the worst in many scenarios; Let us try to find out the route cause for this syndrome; We are so very used to compare our career and life style with others that we are in a constant pressure to live up to our own expectations set… as and when we compare and analyze work and then compare with what is our goal set and how we achieved the same… more or less we are used to work that even a day or two without work cannot be handled by us… Could also be we have stopped living our life, searching happiness and peace even with the smallest surprises and things or people around us, our craving for ‘more’ always has increased to such an extent that we are just ignoring the best around us and all through our life striving for the best… That unknown dis satisfaction that is ruling our mind. We know what it is, but do not know how to get rid of thinking about the same… this issue rules our mind whenever we are with no work left and as a result we would strive to be engaged with some or the other work day in and day out, that would make us transform ourselves into no less than a Machine. All the time we end up regretting for ‘not’ having something be it related to our professional life or personal life and just forget to compliment on what all we ‘have’… even this could relate to multiple syndromes in us… And above all, the major root cause for any problem or issue or these so called syndromes could be because of the way we take them. If we just ignore the biggest of the problem, it would get solved when it has to… if we start get ting worried for the smallest of the issue, it would be solved as well. If we could end up thinking about why any situation has happened and blaming the people or the situation, we could probably put our mind to how to solve it… It is all about taking each moment as it comes and just staying ‘cool’… when we cannot stop our life from ending, then do not even control the way it is going as well!
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Career or Mother Hood? What to choose… March 09, 2012 13:13
Of course it is sad to discover even today, after all these alterations and developments in the newly found freedom for Woman, not many woman are allowed to work, once they are pregnant. In many cases, Woman chose their Mother Hood over career. Okay, let us forget about being career oriented, but it is a necessity for us to work to be independent and fulfill our own needs as well. I would say, unless and until your Doctor suggests you not to work and opt for a bed rest, do not quit working. At least after knowing that a recent research done on Mother and Child’s compatability that says Children who have got working Mothers are more likely to be responsible when compared to kids whose mums are Home makers… Keeping all the reasons aside, if your health permits and you aspire to work during pregnancy as well, then here are certain guidelines that can make you enjoying the thought of being mother and working for your independence as well; Just decide how many hours you would work and if you are seeking to work or not based on the following factors, that n number of times would decide you should work post delivery or not; • your health• your baby’s health• the type of work that you do Women who are in good health, work in a safe job, and who are experiencing healthy pregnancies can generally continue to work right up until their due date. What Work Shouldn’t You Do? If you are pregnant, there are some work-related tasks that you should try to avoid in order to ensure that you are safe and healthy throughout the three trimesters of your pregnancy. In particular, pregnant women should avoid: • repetitive or heavy lifting• pushing• prolonged standing• exposure to heavy vibrations (such as those caused by large machinery)• harmful or toxic substances If your job requires you to participate in these types of activities, your health care provider might suggest that you perform a different type of job throughout your pregnancy or take early leave. Be sure to discuss your options with your employer and HR department. How to stay fit at work during pregnancy; Take Frequent Breaks: When you are at work, it is important to take short but frequent breaks in order to maintain your focus and restore your energy levels. Get up and move around for a few minutes or so – this will improve your circulation and minimize fatigue. Alternatively, if you are on your feet a lot, try to sit down for a few minutes every half hour or so. Use your lunch hour to put your feet up or catch up on a much-needed nap. Eat Nutritious Snacks: Be sure to keep a few nutritious snacks on hand when you are at work. Snacks like fruit, cheese, and crackers can really help to keep your energy up and your mind focused. Reduce Your Other Commitments: In order to perform effectively at work, you need to get your rest when you head home every evening. So cut back on extra commitments that you have outside of work. Instead, ask your partner or a friend to lend a helping hand and take over extra responsibilities. Ask For Help: Don’t be afraid to ask your coworkers for help. If you are finding that certain projects are just too much for you, talk with other employees about sharing the responsibilities. Most will be more than happy to help out!
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How to know what you want! March 06, 2012 12:37
Well, one of the best reasons is to ask yourself what you want to do and be in your life. But, there would be definitely certain situations or for that matter a phase in your life, where you yourself are fixed up in a dilemma about what do you exactly want in life. Now, if we could relate the same to your career, here are some answers you find out to find what you actually want in your life; In the Indian social context, choosing the right career can become more difficult because the young students receive widely varying advice and career counseling and suggestions from different quarters. Parents are usually very involved with their child’s career, especially if they are well educated and successful in a particular profession. Sometimes they can be very insistent, or influence the choice of the child’s career against his or her internal desire. Then there is considerable peer pressure, and also a tendency to follow the most common trends. All such pressures and advices are not very objective, and more often than not, they may lead toa wrong career decision. By the time the individual realizes the error, it is usually too late already to start fresh again in a new career. Do not allow yourself to be influenced by any non-objective thoughts while deciding your career. Just because your friend is opting for a particular career, or because your father is in a particular profession, does not make it automatically the best career for you. At a young age, there is a tendency toavoid thinking and introspection. There is a lot of haste and an urge toact fast about everything. However, a career decision must not be made in haste. Take time toanalyze your interests, and know what truly excites you and drives you passionately in terms of a career. If you follow your natural instinct and go with your natural ability, you can leapfrog ahead of others in the marathon. Extraordinary success comes only when you are in a career that you are truly passionate about. If you are completely uncertain about your career choice, one of the modern and scientific ways of going about it is toassess your own self and determine what kind of a career would be more suited to your profile. Also, you may meet any professional career counselorat your institution or outside, who could give you valuable inputs and advice, considering your personal strengths and weaknesses, and your past educational background. At all times, it is important to remember that more often than not, our life is a product of the choices that we make. A right choice can take us to the very top in life, while one wrong decision can give us a life full of struggle and frustration. One of such crucial choices in life is the choice of a career, which can determine the future course of our destiny.
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Strictly for Men! March 05, 2012 12:41
All those Men out there… are you complaining your partner is no more affectionate towards you? Is busy with her own life and work? Does not care a damn for you? Then just read further and connect the below mentioned situations with that of your relationship… you yourself might find the answer for her being ‘detached’ with you; We talk about love, dependency, not able to live without each other, affection, being possessive about each other and the list go on and on, when we describe a couple in a relationship. At the same time, we also see n number of couple just being in the relationship for the sake of being… there is no more love, belongingness and togetherness in their relationship. They are together, but they are away from each other, they live together but busy with their own lives… and to all these we tag the couple in a relationship being ‘Independent’. I would rather say, this is being ‘Detached’ with each other. Now, how to work on to keep up your relationship if you are facing the similar situations mentioned above is up to you… but we will try to find out, what actually causes ‘Detachment’ in any relationship; Thanks to the working patterns we are adapting. It could be your Partner re locating to Client’s place due to his work and career demands and he royally leaving you emotionally alone, even though he might take care of you financially. In most of the cases, n number of Women would get detached even with their committed partner, no matter how they love their partner, because they cannot digest their partner who earlier promised to just stay with them no matter what, is opting to re locate to any other place just because he wants to make his career. Now, me tagging the career as ‘just’ might not be acceptable to many men who are browsing this article… but Men, if you accept even Women have a career, then just sit back and recollect the situation when your partner got that extra ordinary opportunity to showcase and live her passion and that would give her more than needed boost to her career. But she just ignored it only because she was not willing to re locate to other place, leaving you alone. If she is happy choosing you over her career then why not you? If you really want to stay with your partner, then just be patient and try out for the opportunities in the same place… think over. The other major reason for you or your partner being detached with each other could be you no more giving your partner that needed love, attention and lending ear… we are so damn busy with our lives and work that we do not even care someone is seeking attention from us. And your partner asks for the same, instead of noticing their anguish, we just say, they are nagging, complaining and are disturbing our work because they have no other work to do in particular or have a lot more free time. Just recollect that moment when you needed her the most and she, who was busy with her own work, left everything behind and was always available to patiently listen whatever you say, help you out in setting things right, and what not… if she could do all these for you, then why can’t you, when she needs you the most? Though ‘money’ is not at all a point for two individuals to be in a relationship, how we deal with ‘money’ is important for our relationship to survive… if she does not say ‘no’ for all your madness to gadgets, tabs, laptops, home theater or Cars, Watches, perfumes, then why are you monitoring or in fact controlling her interests in buying a dress or two in a month, probably a kajal pencil, Compaq and a lip stick, if you know that all these hardly make any difference in the amount of your savings and most important, if she is a working woman, giving her share of savings from her salary and then fulfilling her wishes? Dude, stop being a Jerk and take a break… the more you are dependent and controlling her in each move, the more chances of she getting fed up with this relationship of yours… If I go on mention, there is n number of situations like this… Yes, it could be the other side as well, where your Partner fails to understand you. But, before blaming your Partner being heart less, question yourself for being ruthless…
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Take time out for yourself, Now… March 03, 2012 15:14
Who do not want to spend time for them completely? No office and home ka tensions, no hassle or last moment hick ups from family, friends, and partner and even kids… certain amount of qualityTime, just completely for you and that is your one point agenda…Common girl, you have been thinking about spending some time in your entire life, just for you from Ages now… stop thinking and start spending… I will help you out to find ways of what you can do in this time that is completely dedicated for you; A half hour of meditation or yoga can clear your head and relieve stress, helping you feel more relaxed and calm. “These activities regulate the brain waves responsible for our conscious states and literally make the brain less busy.” The quiet atmosphere at a library encourages relaxation, and the cool air can be a welcome relief when the temperature outside is climbing. Spend an hour flipping through your favorite magazines or looking for a fun summer read. Just make sure you leave the kids at home so you can truly immerse yourself in the experience. Spending time outdoors resets your natural rhythm, Any opportunity to get outside will help you feel like you’re part of your own life… Sure, the zoo is a great place to take the kids. But feeding the ducks and watching elephant’s splash in their pool is a great way for grown-ups to unwind too. Playing with your pets at home is another fun way to enjoy some animal company. Sign up for that ceramics or pastry class you’ve always wanted to take. Learning something new can fuel your creativity and give you a chance to make new friends with similar interests. A comedy or romance is a great treat for busy, overscheduled parents. “It’s good for your mental health to laugh and feel like you’re putting your interests first now and then.” And most important, above all these you yourself have to have a thought of why you need to spend some free time only for yourself every now and then. Be you do all the above or your own list of things in this free time of yours or just simply admire yourself seeing you in a mirror or simply do nothing…
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Let that ‘distance’ burst out in your relationship! March 02, 2012 12:11
Though committed or yet seeing each other, though married or yet engaged, long distance are relationships are increasing day in and day out… thanks to all those job profiles that require only employees to stay and work in the client place… it could be work or even a passion to purse higher studies, the reason could be any thing, but the result is many couples are ending up surviving in a long distance relationship. Now, all these are not so easy at they appear. Today, when we are taking a help of a detective to know about a person whom we are thinking to settle down with, do not know how much amount of trust factor is involved in these long term relationships. If you are willing to make your relationship work, then here are some do’s and don’ts from your end to make this relationship of your’s, work; The very first thing that you must do in a long distance relationship is to establish an effective communication channel. Most people will think that telephone is the most convenient mode of communication but apart from the telephone services, there are some other alternative you can use. Instant messenger, emails, VOIP phone and conventional mails can be very effective if you know how to use them. Each of the communication channels has its own advantages and disadvantages and therefore you must start to explore each of them to enhance your communication experience. Occasionally surprise you partner with cards, gifts, letter and flower out of their expectation apart from your normal correspondence. Put your imagination to use and your partner will be sure to love your effort in keeping them happy. Sending the unexpected gifts to your partner will always spice up your distance relationship regardless how far your partner may be. One of the mistakes that a distance relationship couple often make is to settle for a temporary replacement when their partner is not physical around. By letting a third party into your life, you will not only put your distance relationship to risk but you will also break the mutual trust and agreement that you make. Although it may not be done intentionally but this type of mistake will be very costly to your long distance relationship. The absence of your partner does not give you the license to dictate and manipulate the relationship. You must remember that, your partner has their own right to participate in any decision making toward the well being of your relationship regardless where there are. A long distance relationship is also as important as a normal relationship and your partner has their own right to be treated fairly. Most of the failures in distance relationship that we observed are contributed by the wait and see attitude of the couples themselves. This was caused by the insecurity of the couple as they do not think that the LDR (Long Distance relationships) will work but at the same time they do not want to put a stop to the relationship. Let me tell you this, if you plan to have this kind of attitude, refrain from walking into one at the first place because both you and your partner will suffer in the relationship. In a LDR, both partners must be committed and proactive in bringing the relationship to a higher level.
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Money or Relationship… what rules more! March 01, 2012 12:17
Day in and day out, we talk about relationships and how trust, love and togetherness plays a important role in building and sustaining a affective relationship… in this scenario, we also say, money comes in the least priority in maintaining the relationship. But, the fact is at times, money takes a major reason for a healthy relationship, be it a friendship of years together or even in the marital relationship, ruins the ‘love’ in the same… Okay, let’s leave everything and talk about a situation where we have borrowed money from the best of our friends at our work place. We might have not been able to re pay the amount within the promised time… and we might also have observed the change in the behavior of our ‘friend’ from whom we have borrowed money… the simple way to find out their perspective towards you have been changed is ‘they are friends with some other and no more share that rapport with you’… to know more about this, read further; See what one blogger shares and thinks about loaning money to family or friends. Find out why it may not be such a good idea. When a family member needs a cosigner on a loan, find out whether it is really a good idea if you are the extra party to the loan. If you are in the position of needing money, look here before you ask your family. There are some things you need to take into consideration before getting into that sort of agreement with your family or friends. This is a very delicate situation. Some families have been torn apart by lending money out. Take time to read this and see whether it is really a good idea or not. Get a few tips on why mixing your business money and family is not a good idea. Relationships have been severed when doing so. Learn a few ways to handle those family members who may be constantly asking you for money. Get ideas on how to tell them no without hurting the relationship. Discover how to deal with someone in your family asking for money. Find an easier way to handle the requests and still keep your relationship in tact. See what one blogger says about lending money to your friends. Find out why they say the answer should always be No. When others are in a tight money bind, you could lend them money. Often this leads to strained or even severed relationships. Find seven ways here to help them without hurting your relationships. Should you lend your boyfriend/girlfriend money? Find out here what one blogger says about this delicate subject. See how one blogger feels about lending money to your family. Some say there is not a problem while others advise against it. Learn when it is okay to lend money to family and friends. Some people say it is never okay while some do it every day. If you are considering cosigning a loan with a family member or a friend read this first. Find out here what you need to know before signing those papers. Find out why some advisers say that borrowing money from friends is a bad idea. You should not lend money to friends or family in most cases. I suppose the above mentioned suggestions can catered by you about the pros and cons of borrowing, lending and not borrowing or lending money from either your colleague at work place or even with your loved ones…
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Plans for ‘eloping’? wait a moment! February 29, 2012 11:55
Had to be a witness for my friend’s marriage yesterday… they both eloped from their respective homes, did not informed their parents about their marriage, got married and flew to the place where the groom is working. And for all these they say, ‘we have been waiting for 2 long years for our parent’s approval. We had no other choice’… Well, I am not here to judge what is right or wrong… but just view this aspect of ‘eloping’ from the third person point of view… Many family members are sympathetic to couples who elope and will eventually come round to the idea of the elopement, given time. But not all family members are quite so gracious. Parents in particular often find it difficult to overcome the hurt of discovering that their children have run off to get married without so much as an invitation to the wedding. Rather than diminishing, the hurt caused by a couple's elopement can turn into deep, long lasting disapproval once the newlyweds return home. Was the bride to blame for keeping her husband away from his parents? Why would the groom deny a father his right to walk his daughter down the aisle? These are just some of the thoughts that will running through the minds of family members who disapprove of the elopement and the subsequent marriage. Some couples who elope never quite meet with the approval of their family members, even after several years of marriage. Eloping might seem like the easy solution for a couple in love, but it can create just as many problems as it solves. Marrying in haste without the presence of family and friends can lead to regret later on as unfulfilled wedding dreams become a reality, not just for the bride and groom, but also for the family of the couple, who feel cheated out of being at the wedding. Moreover, eloping often meets with family disapproval that is hard to overcome. Apart from all the above, eloping might not have positive affects to a major extent… from who you are running? From those who have given birth to you and are the reason today for whatever you are? From the society?From your loved ones?From who? It is definitely your choice to get married to a person whom you want to, but just let the World know about your choice as well. be bold enough to let even your elders know that at any cost you want to get married to your choice… if you feel, this aggressive nature of your’s would hurt your parents, then you getting married, not letting them know that you are getting married, this kills them… Think and act!
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Pros and cons of PDA.. February 28, 2012 12:10
You are enjoying that Yum food in a hotel, but suddenly don’t care to bother what is in your plate as you see much more interesting scene… a couple getting cozy with each other… Be it a mall, a cinema hall, hotel and even near temples for that matter, this Public Display of affection (what we call PDA) has become more than common. And if you cater only youngsters in this category, then my dear, you are absolutely mistaken. Couples crossing the age group of 30s to 40s and even 40s to50s are keen in PDA… Yet another time, let’s talk about the Pros and cons of PDA; PDA is any display of affection between two individuals in public. This could be a simple action like a mother kissing her son on his forehead, a hug between a father and daughter, an endearing embrace between two old friends. It seems the problem arises when the display becomes sexual. That is when people around you may get uncomfortable and take objection to your actions. Now, after seeing n number of couples indulging in PDA and living with this for years, let us find out to what extent PDA is acceptable; A peck on the cheek, a light one-second kiss on the lips, a kiss on the forehead or the head, or a gentle brush of your lips against his hand is okay. A bear hug is perfectly fine as long as you let go of your better half in a few seconds. A soft light kiss on the cheek too is okay at the end of the hug. Nothing can be more endearing than a couple holding hands. This form of PDA is okay so go ahead and hold his hand for as long as you want. Putting your arm round your partner’s waist is okay as long as it stays there. You may get a few glances from people around you but if it stays at the waist then there is no problem at all. And even if your partner is putting his arm around your shoulder, this is considered as a positive gesture too. What is right, what is wrong, acceptable or not acceptable, all these would differ from me and you. But the agenda is it is not even acceptable to make our partner feel uncomfortable with our PDA, forget about the society, as you say… If you are just tuned to indulge in much of a PDA, then do a self-analysis on the insecurity rate in your relationship… you, yourself would get the answer…
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Week Day ‘Syndrome’? Respond! February 27, 2012 15:57
One of my friends was talking about Week days syndrome yesterday… you know what? This syndrome starts sometime around a Sunday afternoon… Just imagine how does it feel? A Sunday is basically meant to get relaxed, spend some quality time with family and loved ones and absolutely no work related thoughts… and when this syndrome starts ruling our mind, then a week day or a week end, I suppose days do not make much of a difference… Then why are we living with this syndrome? Why cannot we plan for a week long happiness that would de – stress our stress? It may seem that there’s nothing you can do about your stress level. The bills aren’t going to stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day for all your errands, and your career or family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have a lot more control than you might think. In fact, the simple realization that you’re in control of your life is the foundation of stress management. Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment, and the way you deal with problems. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation, and fun – plus the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head on. Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. Your true sources of stress aren’t always obvious, and it’s all too easy to overlook your own stress-inducing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Sure, you may know that you’re constantly worried about work deadlines. But maybe it’s your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that leads to deadline stress. Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control. Think about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life. Your stress journal can help you identify them. Are your coping strategies healthy or unhealthy, helpful or unproductive? Unfortunately, many people cope with stress in ways that compound the problem. If your methods of coping with stress aren’t contributing to your greater emotional and physical health, it’s time to find healthier ones. There are many healthy ways to manage and cope with stress, but they all require change. You can either change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose, it’s helpful to think of the four As: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept. Since everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no “one size fits all” solution to managing it. No single method works for everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies. Focus on what makes you feel calm and in control. Be it a syndrome or a problem or an issue, the major cause for all these I suppose is stress. Prefer getting out of the same for your peace!
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Why you learn anything ‘Extra’? February 25, 2012 16:37
The Advantages Of Extra-Curricular Activities In some countries, the educational systems are only based on fixed curriculum with a number of books and learning materials that most people consider them as insufficient or restrictive for the student’s comprehension skills and imaginations. Although it is now believed that today’s the best educational systems constitute not only a curriculum but also extra-curricular social or cultural activities which have many advantages like increase in sociability, learning new things and better motivation for school, it is yet underestimated in some countries. The first advantage of extra-curricular activities is the increase in sociability which is a crucial ability for personal development and an important criteria for job interviews. People’s ability to make friends or to become a part of a group fuels self-confidence and creates a better atmosphere of liability among people. The second advantage of extra-curricular activities is learning new things. For instance, learning about cultural differences by becoming friends with people who are foreigners will create a better understanding of differences mutually. This also can be regarded as a perfect examination about their sociability The third advantage of extra-curricular activities concerns better motivation for school. Due to the fact that people will spend some time on extra-curricular activities in addition to school works, as a result, they will feel motivated, emotionally better and ready to take the challenge of studying a variety of different subjects in school. In conclusion, there are numerous advantages of participating in social, cultural and extra-curricular activities concerning sociability, the increase in people’s knowledge about new things and their motivation for the hardships of life. Hence, people should be encouraged to participate in activities which are different than their studies in order to create better-adjusted, motivated societies. Apart from all the above, learning any form of art, be it a dance, vocal, art or could be any further, all these would definitely help re invent our lost enthusiasm, that can carry forward to our day to day lives as well. Including certain forms of fitness regimes like Yoga or Gymming or a walk, each exercise is considered not only to keep you fit but also keep you calm and composed. So, learning any form of art would help you in similar manner. At any given point of time, it is required for you to survive you passion apart from being Number one in your profession as well. So, start finding what is your passion in life. Routine is no doubt boring and of course ‘routine’. All these or any one extracurricular activities of your’s would help you run away from routine and just Chill…So, start finding what interests you the most and start learning that ‘Extra’…
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