‘Yesterday, all day long, I was doing nothing much, rather than thinking ‘What Next?’… Might because yesterday is a Sunday and generally that Sunday Syndrome of being numb was ruling me… thinking about too many things that are related to near future at a time… despite of ‘thinking’ not able to get any solution for any issue… whatever the reason could be, I can say that my Sunday was a night mare yesterday…

But what made me think so much? When I tried answering the question at the end of the day yesterday, I finally got the root cause for my bad day. Yesterday morning, my Hubby was confirmed with an offer from a company and the Profile that he actually was striving to be in… but, as a part of his job, he is supposed to go the client place and ‘family’ is not allowed to go with him. It seems the organization has agreed to my Hubby visiting to home town from client’s place once in three months and that too for 15 days or so…

In the situation we are and when we prioritize our necessities, this is a Golden opportunity for my hubby to move further in his career. And to the kind of experience he holds, no matter what ever might be the organization, he would be offering this kind of a profile only. So, the only option he has is to take up the job and work like this for atleast 2 years. After that, he can look further to take up a big project that runs for couple of years, that allows him to take his spouse with him, to the client place.

Now, I should be happy for my Hubby as he is settling down in his desired career? I should be sad because I need to live 2 years of my life all alone, without him? There were many other issues that were bothering me as well… it has been three years that we got married and this is a right time to plan for a kid, but with this kind of a situation right now, I can’t even think for a while about having a kid… I am so very used to him from past three years after marriage and three years before marriage when we are seeing each other, that living without him atleast for some time is impossible for me… what I should do? Shall we plan for a kid right away and I should handle my pregnancy and 1st year of my baby all alone? Or I should wait for 2 long years to complete and once we are together, plan for a baby then?

Too many questions were ruling my mind… not able to bear the same I have let out my anguish and cried my heart out… Oh! I was relaxed then… it is very true that once you are calm and composed the thought process of your mind changes for positive… I was only happy that my Hubby is settling down in his desired career… I prepared myself to live alone and continue my job for some time now… I have also decided to enroll for further studies… I have convinced myself, ‘though he is not with me in person, but we would definitely update our each day with each other, chat, share our emotions, and thanks to the technology that helps us to be together despite of we not being together physically. And when it comes to planning for a kid, then what’s harm in playing a role of a Single Mother for a while? I would be stronger, extremely positive and tough to handle any kind of a situation. Only thing is, I need to be a bit more patient and possess some more amount of planning, to handling Mother Hood. And more over, one good thing is he would be visiting me once in 2 or 3 months and you never know, my hubby might get placed in a big project and I would be with him soon… Along with this change in thoughts I have decided to live in today and take tomorrow as it comes… after all, I can’t let go any moment in ‘Today’, thinking too much about ‘Tomorrow’!

SunayanaVinay Kumar