Reasons for not to pity yourself! January 23, 2012 15:38
Basic mind set of you and me… whatever goes wrong with us, for what so ever reason we are upset, we ‘pity’ ourselves. Though till certain point of time it gives us self-satisfaction, after one point when behavior becomes a habit and then a routine of our lives, it is too hard for us to understand and live in the reality… Here is the experience of one of my friend who has handled ‘Self Pity’; I simply made a pact with myself that I would not allow myself to indulge in it any more. This was a re-training of my brain; a new way of thinking for me. In most cases, this “mental policy” worked out really well for me. However, when self-pity persisted, I had to seek other means. If you force yourself to be physically active and really get your heart rate going, this will have a profound effect on your emotional well-being. If you move your body your mind will follow. Physical energy and motivation can empower your whole life. Getting in shape can be a springboard to better emotional health. This can be a huge piece of the puzzle that many people will overlook or simply discount. Get active and you’ll be happier for it! When I needed to rationalize my drinking or drug use, my favorite technique was to feel sorry for myself. Sad but true. It always worked so well for me. I loved the feeling that my life was spinning out of control, and that people had done me wrong, and that I was a true victim. This really didn’t happen all that often in my life; people were actually pretty good to me. But whenever I got the chance, I loved to feel sorry for myself, and I used the feeling to justify my drinking. Because I’m such a shy person, I’ve grown accustomed to using rejection to fuel my pity-parties. My diseased little mind thinks that rejection is the worst thing in the world–even worse than death itself. This irrational belief typically paralyzes me and keeps me from taking healthy risks. In my recovery, I’ve worked on this character defect, and gotten a little better at it. So I take more risks, and usually it pays off. But rejection is a part of life–experiencing rejection on an occasional basis is inevitable. It’s going to happen. So I’ve had to learn how to get over my tendency to throw an “internal pity-party.” In the beginning of my recovery, I had lots of reasons to feel down on myself. As time went on, my life in recovery got better–in almost every way–and I learned how to stop mentally playing the victim role. After going through all these, I life is all about thinking and handling each and every situation from the other side of the coin.
Read More
Have a meaning this Week End January 21, 2012 13:28
Movies, Masti, eat outs, friends, parties, relatives, work that needs to be completed or simply sitting idle doing nothing… in short, your week end would be more or less the same. This week end, why…
Read More
Live your dream for a better life! January 20, 2012 12:29
Living life is and art… could be our situations or certain UN avoidable responsibilities, we just accept and adjust our life according to the situation. But, for sure there would come some point in almost…
Read More
Stop being lazy… January 19, 2012 11:28
You determine to do and learn n number of things. But at the end of the day, you end up not even doing certain percent of what you have thought to do. When you question yourself, then you cannot come to a conclusion neither can solve your problem of sticking by your thoughts and achieving what you actually wanted to do… Sometimes, even though we end up finding the root cause, we ignore it. The reason for all these might be the un built laziness in you to a major extent. It dominates you to such a level that even if you want to get rid of the same, you can’t and you end up accepting and living with the same. this is not a relationship to accept the reality, being lazy could be the biggest hurdle of your life and getting away from the same is necessary. Laziness is the major mental hurdles between you and success.Laziness – “I have to do it, but I can’t, or may be I don’t want to do it”. And the affect laziness might show to you; • Failure in professional life - ‘Don’t know when I will be completing the project, But if I wish, I can complete it this week.” • Failure in personal life -” I should be visiting the dentist today. But let me go next week” • Failure in family life - “Since how many weeks, children want me to take them to that nearby new garden” Tiredness leading to laziness- Tiredness can cause laziness. While you are feeling lazy, do a self-check whether you are tired physically or mentally. Mentally tired? • Take up some hobby, • Spice up your family life with a family tour or a surprise movie. • Try to mix up different types of work. • Organized mixing up of works leads to freshness in mind. • Sleep also helps to bring back freshness. And in case you are physically tired… • Take rest, sleep for at least 8 hours at night. • During your work, if physical tiredness comes in your way of marching forward, just a small 10 minutes nap works wonders. • Consult a doctor. You might have some hidden physical problem. • If you work for long hours continuously, you should consider day sleep as an option. • There are other reasons and solutions for physical tiredness. Read it here – I feel tired all the time. Speed up to implement all or at least some of these and and get going in life!
Read More
Aiming to be Strong… Emotionally! January 18, 2012 17:01
More than physical, being strong emotionally is mandatory. The kind of life style we are living in, pressures we are taking both in our personal and professional life and most of us just being alone with not many loved ones around us, whom we can trust, we inculcating the need of being strong, ‘Emotionally’ will make us a survivor. Every now and then, we inculcate these thoughts in us and stick to the same. But may be the dominance of the situations or could be for any other reason, we get back to our weak attitude. Just look at these guidelines that can help you Stay Fit, Emotionally; Worry is a negative state of mind which deals with the same problem over and over again, yet nothing is solved. So, as early as possible, get out of it… never let any situation or person control your mind. When you end up feeling low or losing your confidence, constantly, then try diverting your mind from the same. take a break, have a coffee, speak with a friend definitely not about the reason for your worry and just become normal. Accept your state of mind rather than running away from it. Fear is the opposite of confidence. It is also another negative emotion where it deals with uncertainty and loses heart easily. How can one win when one feels defeated even before the game has started? Problems are not solved when one go to sleep, be rested proper to have our energies and spirits renewed to stand tall to face all challenges the next day.. There are numerous other people's problems beyond one's expectations and understandings. Learn to tackle our own problems before giving a hand to others. Solve our own problems before minding other people's problems. There is no use crying over spilt milk. Be geared towards moving a step at a time. 'Yesterday was a cancelled check, tomorrow is a promissory note, Today is ready cash, Use it to the fullest!' That was what people used to say. We have a pair of ears but only one mouth. Be patient to speak before understanding. Our mouths serve us best when in accord with inner conscience where Truth dwells.. Self-pity is the web that spins miseries and traps oneself with their 'self-dug-pits' or dungeons. Slithering snakes and crawling insects will be your friends while in the darkness of frustrations. For every blessing known to you, there are hundreds more that you don't know. Have heart in all you do. Always be grateful in all we have. Gratitude is a virtue for all. Gratitude is a key to peace of mind and heart.
Read More
Irritating colleagues? Fight them… January 17, 2012 11:53
Well, this does not definitely mean you should actually get into a fight or something. Almost every day in your life, you may come across these kinds of people, who are necessarily not your colleagues. But, the worst part is, bearing those irritating colleagues out there, with whom even if you don’t want, you end up spending the maximum number of hours in a day. They could be throwing all those tantrums and getting out from a situation, using their double mind for your disguise or what so ever might be their behavior, at the end of the day you need to be with them, but not at the cost of your happiness… Here are some suggestions that can guide you to get rid of your irritating colleagues; Confront the co-worker right off the bat. Don’t let the problems fester. Don’t give the office gossip the opportunity to destroy your reputation. Instead, go to your colleague and say something like “you have been bothering me and affecting my work for weeks now. Please stop it.” Don’t beat around the bush. Be specific about how this co-worker has been affecting you. Give precise guidelines for how this person can improve his behavior. Another way to get rid of an annoying co-worker is to befriend her. This might be a difficult and tough step for you, but often times the people who annoy us do so with character traits or habits that are similar to ours, traits that we dislike about ourselves. For example, being to work on time is vital in most job contexts. Talking behind someone’s back is typical in many office settings. Are the issues that annoy you in someone else the same issues you struggle with? If so, take a long hard look at yourself first. Invite your co-worker to make the same changes you would like to make in yourself. Make it a special project and seek to build a friendship. The worst case scenario is that you’ll make huge changes in yourself and your co-worker will be bored with your plan and never bother you again. Beat the annoyer with a dose of genuine friendship. Maybe you’ll gain a friend for life. If neither of those steps is effective in getting rid of an annoying co-worker, it is time to involve your supervisor, and possibly the supervisor of the annoying colleague. Tell her exactly why this co-worker is so annoying, what you’ve tried to correct the problem, and other suggestions you might have. Ask your supervisor if there is something else you can try, fresh ideas. Perhaps there are core values in your company that come into play in the situation. In the process, you’ll likely be showing your supervisor that you are committed to company values. Getting rid of annoying co-workers can be an amazing and genuine positive step in your own career. To get rid of a colleague, you need not leave the company. It is just that you need to know how to get out of the situation rather than running away from the same!
Read More
Kick Start week with fitness! January 16, 2012 16:34
What more can be best than this? the more fit you are the more fit and fine your mind would be. Let us believe in this notion and kick start our Monday, being fit, with a proper mind set. But how? To have an idea, read further; This Monday Sickness Monday is the start of a work week, a school week or an otherwise busy period. Although Sunday is technically the first day of a week, most people choose to relax and unwind on Sundays. Choosing to kick start a diet on a day when you usually unwind from a busy week can make you feel like you're punishing, not rewarding, yourself. A diet should never feel like a punishment. Starting the diet on the first day of your typical work week can make the transition easier. As you return to the challenges the new week will bring, you can look at your new diet as just one more challenge you can handle this week. Food routine throughout the week People who are busiest during the typical work week may eat differently during the weekend. Choosing to kick start a diet on a weekend can make it difficult for you to get used to the diet because you're more likely to indulge in unhealthy foods. On Mondays, you can pack your lunch ahead of time and bring it to work. Because you'll be occupied with work, you're less likely to dwell on the new items you're eating for lunch. Sunday… A fun day and… Choosing to kick start a diet on Monday over another day in your work week has the additional benefit of allowing you time on Sunday afternoon and evening to prepare. You can fix your Monday breakfast and lunch ahead of time and psych yourself up for the new change in your life. You can also sit down and plan out your meals for the entire week and start a grocery list of what you'll need for each meal. If possible, go grocery shopping on Sunday as well. Planning your meals ahead of time makes it less stressful to shop and cook throughout the week. If you're less stressed, you're less likely to give into the temptation to go off of your diet. The need for self-motivation… Because choosing to kick start a diet on a Monday can help you stay more motivated, you're more likely to have successful results. Slipping up on your diet and choosing to eat something you shouldn't, even just once, can make it more difficult for you to return to your diet. If you're starting your diet at the same time you start the new work week, you're less likely to slip up. After a full work week of staying on your new diet, it will be easier for you to continue sticking to the diet during your days off. Nothing is rocket science or impossible. If practiced, your mind and in turn situations can definitely be controlled by you.
Read More
Afraid to get into your home? January 14, 2012 13:28
When I say home, I mean Kitchen. After all, Kitchen is one such area, when compared to the rest of the home; you are the creator of it. Right from making the tea to dinner, to set right the stuff in the kitchen, all these are your choice, completely. So, you rule it royally, but at times, may be because of getting pissed off with the routine or because of lack of time or just like that, you make a mess out of your kitchen, and you ending up in a mess, of not understanding from where to start and what to do to keep the kitchen clean. But even then, you need to take care of your home. So, let’s get started and clean up our kitchen. Not just that, let’s maintain the same, so that we do not end up in a bigger mess again; Do not start cleaning the kitchen as soon as you finish with your cooking or you are in a rush to report at the Office. Take a chill pill, you can completely concentrate on make your kitchen look similar to that of a clean mirror, after you complete all the other works and dedicate some solid hours to the cleanup. It is not as simple as you made your kitchen a ‘Disaster’. You need to definitely clean up in an order. So, just start one by one. Dusting, cleaning, putting the things in their place, makes everything in order. ‘Do not over load the house’, this is the trend of today’s interior designing. This is applicable to your kitchen as well. Be it Masalas or the stuff that we use in our cooking or even the food granules, just make sure you would not stuff all the cupboards and in turn the kitchen also. And more over, keeping all those stuff, not considering their expiry date and using them in your cooking, is unhealthy for you and your family as well. So, ‘Simple Kitchen with a lot of space in it’ should be your mantra. This is easy for maintenance as well. The same rule is applicable to your Refrigerator as well. Ab, GasStovekiBaari! The entire area surrounded with the stove and the stove itself, should be cleaned every now and then. After all, to add on to your yummy cooking even your stove should be clean and ‘chamaktahua’ all the time. Do not even let the vessels, scatter here and there… just make sure certain space has been kept to put all those vessels at one place. The steel hangers that you get to scatter all those vessels are a big savior. And these days, you can find variety of designs in the same. Cleaning your kitchen also includes cleaning the dining area as well. Dining table would be good all the way surrounded only at the lunch or the dinner time. the rest of the time, a bowl filled with fruits, water and glasses are sufficient for the dining table to look good. As of now, try with these things as initial startup… moving further, we would talk more about turning our home, close to that of a Mirror!
Read More
‘Irritated? No more!’ January 12, 2012 15:48
Who will not get irritated yaar? And for Woman with a inherent quality of multi-tasking, managing hundred other things is for sure a big task and as a result, hell lot of stress. So, to relieve from this, try out some of these; Make sure you get and give your fair share of hugs. Not only does hugging feel good, it has been proven to help reduce the stress level, cortisone. Taking a rest isn’t only about not doing anything. A rest from work can mean putting the emphasis on what you do in your leisure time – hobbies, holidays, sport – to counterbalance work or everyday stress. And we all need sleep for energy, good concentration and general health. Chronic sleep-deprivation can affect your performance at work, which can be a key factor in raising stress levels. When you need to reduce the pressure in your life, you can’t always do it on your own. Everyone should have a support network of friends, family, co-workers and other people they can call on to help take the strain - whether it’s practical help or a sympathetic ear when you feel down. Of course, staying grateful is a lot easier if you are hanging with the right crowd. Because once the negativity is out there, it’s up to you to tell your brain not to dwell on it. And, well, if you’re like me, that cognitive exchange demands a lot of energy. Best to choose your friends carefully and avoid the toxic conversations as much as you can. Are yaar, kabtak? Atleast now, please implement the thought that is running in your mind since ages. If atleast one thing is going against your mindset and you not liking it at all and moreover, if you are being asked to do something that is against your like, then simply say ‘no’. Later, what happens, who knows? Let’s see. It seems, in order to revamp your mood and yourself, having your favorite flavor of ice creams would help for a better. So, next time, I suppose ice creams should work wonders for you. But, make sure you would not have them on a regular basis. Wait, stop thinking for a while. Just think on which topic or issue you starting thinking and where it has been going at the end of the day? Not only your day and family, learn to prioritize your thought process and problems as well. Then see life becomes so easy for you. Wishing you stress free days ahead! SunayanaVinay Kumar
Read More
‘Outstanding’ among the ‘rest’… January 11, 2012 12:32
Who does not want to be special? For that matter every one of us are special in their own ways… then why only certain people get recognized at work place? Why only they are considered for all those hikes or applause? Why are you just any other employee among thousand other employees and cannot be ‘outstanding’? It could be you are not knowing your worth and importance? Or many be you are just wanting others to know your worth? Arreyaar, your own family members would not understand your mind unless you yourself would tell the same, then how can employers or a colleague of yours can understand your worth without you intimating the same… So, to be the ‘Best Employee’, you can try out the following measures; • Knowing your place. Always keep in mind that you are not the boss of the company. You are there to comply with the standards of the company and not to impose your own standards. Be sure to always give your best in everything. Follow the authority of your immediate bosses. Consider them as your seniors and treat them with utmost respect. They know more about the company than you do. Learn from them and seek their guidance if you are uncertain about something. Remember that your boss calls the shots even if you knew what's best for the situation. • Having integrity. Employers love to see employees who show integrity no matter what. Always keep you word and do the right thing. Remember that even the smallest things will make or break you integrity as an employee. Never be late in meetings or when passing reports within the day. Be truthful with your sick leaves, punching your time card or even sending reports. Admit your short comings and be sure to make up to it. Take the initiative to do beyond what is expected. This will definitely win favor from your employee. • Being a role model. You should not only gain the respect of your employer but your fellow employees as well. Set an example for other employees to follow. Perform each task efficiently and act as the team's spark to do the more. • Giving due respect. Respect begets respect. You have to earn the respect of your employer with action. Show your strong work ethic and dedication for your job every time you are asked to do something. Understand that even though your boss is not all knowing, he has the experience required to be placed in that position. His words will have weight no matter what. If you are to suggest or give in your opinion, be sure to have it explained in a manner that is not intrusive to your boss' position. • Being courteous. Greet everyone in your office with a smile. Use courteous words when addressing or having conversation with your boss and co-employees. Carefully choose your words even during heated conversations. Do not back stab anyone with words. This is it… so simple isn’t it? Of course, it is definitely not so easy to implement all these and yet be successful. But at the same time, nothing is impossible… starting your ways to possibility…
Read More
‘Discipline’ bhi Zaroorihai… January 10, 2012 17:08
Just like life is a mixture of all emotions, happiness and even mistakes and learning’s, so as our behavior. The only difference that changes our life style for a better is how we learn from our mistakes, inculcate that ‘discipline’ is us an pass on the same to the next generation as well. Now, the challenge is how we do share our experiences and make our next generation adapt the discipline before they making the mistakes and learning from them…let us look at the affective ways of inculcating discipline in Children, as they are the lot who can learn anything and everything, just fast… Do try to instill consistent rules, approaches, and even goals and rewards each day. Kids can find change or inconsistencies confusing, and may test limits or boundaries to see how far they can go with different adults. (Remember the saying, "If mom says no, then just go ask dad?) The motto may be cute on a shirt, but is nothing but trouble in a household where inconsistent rules exist. Choose your path of dealing with children very carefully, but once you've picked a battle then a parent/adult MUST win. Always. Only address those issues that are truly important (safety is always a key battle) and let some things go. If possible, offer choices while still setting reasonable limits. But if an issue is important, experts indicate it's vital that a parent not cave and give in to a child, even "just this once." If you do this, then every time this issue comes up again, your child will know that you might change your mind. If the behavior won't cause harm, then an effective disciplinary approach often involves praising good behavior and rewarding it through hugs, high-fives or special activities (like a trip to the park), while ignoring bad behavior. This is easier said than done, but a child will learn that good actions result in more positive attention and praise while bad behavior gains her nothing. Kids often enjoy seeing a rise out of an adult; blowing your top can be interesting to watch and kids sometimes see your loss of control as a victory for them. Keep calm and in control, and if necessary, tell your child you're taking a brief "time out" to assess the situation and appropriate consequence before taking action. Kids will often take advantage of a frazzled, mad, or emotional adult; don't give them this opportunity. If you do mess up, learn from the experience, and take another measure to keep yourself calm, cool and collected the next time (and there will be one!). When someone else is watching your child, be sure to communicate discipline style and request the caregiver adopt a similar fashion. Likewise, if you do not believe in a certain approach (like spanking or a time-out chair), be sure to indicate that to a babysitter or early education teacher as well. If checking out a new day care or pre-school, take time to ask about disciplinary approach. Many parents find that if they match their approach to what methods are used at a child's care setting, the results become more effective. The reason may be that kids respond to discipline tactics that are used with their peers. Even parenting is an art dude!
Read More
How to categorize your Wardrobe! January 09, 2012 13:07
Every day of your’s is beginning with a confusion? Pissed off of wearing the same clothes regularly? It is not that you don’t have clothes or you are not buying new clothes… it is only that you are not having a track on what are you buying. It is only that you are not allotting that extra time to segregate your clothes… so, let’s take out time and work on setting our closet right, before taking time out for some more shopping of clothes… The first thing you must do when beginning a closet makeover is purge. Get rid of all the items you don't wear or need or no longer fit you. Some people go by the One Year Rule : if you haven't worn it in one year, throw it out. Some will keep hold of clothing they have not worn or items they haven't utilized for a little longer than one year, but this time frame is a good rule of thumb that can work for many [**] although not all. For instance, if you take a major ski trip every 2 or 3 years and thus need to hold onto your ski clobber for those future events although you have not used the clothing and equipment in the last year, it obviously is sensible to do that. Use your head here and do what works best for you and your lifestyle. You need to evaluate each area of the closet that you want to organize and for a plan about which items you would like placed in which area. You can make a list of everything you are keeping, place them in certain sections and add labels if you like. Labels can be added to both shelving and boxes / bins to help you get organized and stay that way. Next you might segregate your things into 3 piles: things / clothing you currently use in regularly, things / clothing reserved for use in the future, things / clothing to sell, donate, or drop. After you've sorted everything out, you can start putting them into your closet and categorize them in a way that makes the most sense to you. For instance you can prepare your clothes by season, by garment type and color or by flexibility like having a grab-and-go section. The items found in this section are those that may be worn every day ; your favorite pair of jeans, a plain white shirt that may be mixed and coupled with anything. Then another section could be allotted for items you'll wear for important occasions such as ruffled or beaded blouses. If you don't have enough closet space, it could be good to invest on shelving or storage bins to help organize and store shoes, sweaters, workout clothing, or other items you do not use on a regular basis. You can also use the back of your wardrobe door for hanging your ties, scarves, belts, purses or other accessories. You may also change your hanging garments rod placement. For example, rather than one rod, you could be better off with 2 parallel rods at different heights to accommodate more attire in your newly organized closet. Having a new closet can help you save time and money and lower your stress. You may know precisely where to find things and where to put them back. You might also find you save money by purchasing less new items, since you won't buy identical items by mistake and can give new life to the old classics in your wardrobe by accessorizing with more modern trends. Best of all, your new and arranged closet will make it wonderful to dress each morning, it's like having a personal tiny boutique right in your own place that's open twenty-four hours a day!
Read More