Turning 30 and still single? December 10, 2011 13:16
It is not a sin nor abnormal to be single even at the age of 30. And these days, when career taking a first priority and even family taking a back seat, settling down in a hurry is not even thought. Only after you know what you want in life, plan and achieve each and every step in your career and life, fulfill your basic to luxury needs, make some money, invest some amount, buy and car and if you can a flat also, and get a proper hold on what kind of a life style you can live in and would your partner be able to satisfy the same, only then you think of finding that ‘Mr. Right’ of your life. Well, seems to be too long a journey, but this is what with today’s generation when it comes to plan a settlement in your life. since the culture and our approach and vision towards looking life has been changed, there is no surprise our thinking about settlement and starting with a committed relationship to change in the thoughts about all other situations in our life. But, practically speaking, staying single for a long rime or analyzing a relationship just as we take any other financial or career related decision, would not make our perspective towards commitment, emotions, love to change? Just as our thought process changes from teenage to Adult, to 30+ to 40 and we tend to become insensitive or for that matter mentally strong each year, similarly our perspective towards love, relationship and commitment also changes. So, with this new mindset that always thinks about the pros and corns before answering any issue, would we ever be able to find our perfect match at this age? Even if we do, can we ever show that unconditional life to our partner? Keeping our social status, life style, ego aside, can we just love our partner and expect the same love in return? Well, to each one’s own. Now, it is neither correct nor possible to judge how a person takes a situation and no two mindsets are alike. Post 30, we can find many who just marry for the sake of it, who are in search of that love and commitment from their partner, who are going through a break up and stuck up in their own thoughts, who are looking for a friend in their partner and have no problem even if their partner is seeing somebody else, they just want to be in a relationship. However, ideally at least 25 for Woman and 28 for Men is considered as a right age to get into a committed relationship, keeping all those changes in our biological needs and thought process in consideration. Now, it is up to you, to take all these aspects into consideration and think to get into a committed relationship or wait for some more time. Out of personal experience, one last aspect. There is no ‘Mr. Perfect’ or ‘Ideal Patner’ as such, and if you start searching for the same, you might end up being single. If your partner is matured and understanding, most important gives respect to you as an individual and if needed he stands by you to protect your identity, capable enough to take care of you… I suppose you should not look for anything more… SunayanaVinay Kumar
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Woman can’t work post-delivery? December 09, 2011 16:35
Thanks to our development and so called globalization, mindset of many of us is allowing to think and do certain, that used to be considered as a sin earlier. Let’s talk about our Woman itself. Earlier, a girl being equally or more educated than a Guy or a Woman working and supporting a family, relocating to other places for the purpose of education or work, working post marriage, all these were considered ‘Not acceptable by the society’. It is because many Women just thought, ‘Do hell with the society’ and started crossing all these barriers. Today, it is so good to just think we are no less than anyone else and most important not financially dependent. Even now, there is a hurdle of our life, that many times makes us to choose either of the two paths and with no other option left, we do it. it is ‘Post delivering a baby, we cannot work. We need to either choose Mother hood or our career’. Yes, I do agree with you, this kind of a situation has not occurred in most of our lives, but this is definitely prevailing right in our ‘Society’, in many educated families, some of them whom we are aware of. It is not that I am against anything. It is just that I am trying to think this issue from the other perspective. Why Woman can’t work post pregnancy, when men can? We talk about men and women being equal, we encounter many working couple as well, many women support their parents even financially post marriage, then why this biased rule of not letting Women work post-delivery? Nothing will be changed after experiencing the Mother Hood, except certain physical changes in those Nine months of pregnancy and first six months after delivery. When we give a statement, having a baby changes our life for a better why aren’t we implementing the same? Now, you might have a readymade question for me, ‘if I go, work, then who would take care of my baby?’… Not parents, neither in – laws as they are growing old and have not much of strength to take care of a kid. To some extent, these well-known Baby care centers are a breather, also there are n number of companies that provide a day care center for kids right in the office premises, you always have a option to alter you career by choosing to work from home or taking up a job that has a flexible work timing, during your work you can manage taking care of your kid by opting a reliable maid at home under the supervision of elders. It is proven by many Children specialists, once your kid attains the age of 2, he wants to be with his age group and explore new World most of the time, all the time being at home under the supervision of elders will bore him to the core and he cannot learn anything new, faster. So, even in this scenario, letting your kid explore the World is acceptable. Also, many researches confirmed kids whose both parents are working would possess more responsibility and understanding rather than those whose mother is a home maker. And please, do not live in a myth that Children who are taken care by others or care centers would not adopt a good behavior. It completely depends on how healthy and positive the atmosphere your Child is in and to choose the best for your kid is your responsibility as a parent. So, be a super Mom, Excel in career and up bringing your kid, because having a baby changes our life for a better! SunayanaVinay Kumar
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Why do they come in our mind? December 08, 2011 21:25
We assume to be perfectly alright, our thought process to be correct and our life style to be the best. But, still we lose confidence at times, assume or predict our near future to be the worst, fear of not meeting the deadlines and all these thoughts rule our mind to such an extent that we end up living in insane. These thoughts have to be categorized as ‘Negative Thoughts’. In and out every day, there would be a situation that you are handling and in the process of solving the same your mind thinks in different jorners, you would also think negative and later realize ‘why am I thinking negative about the situation’? This question itself is a basic symbol of negative thoughts. You and I come across many people, who hesitate to take a risk, be it in their professional or personal life, try to be in their safe zone, not keen in welcoming challenges and when asked they have their own set of answer, ‘this is not practically possible’. Dear, this is not practical, but negative thinking; You being alert while driving a vehicle or crossing a road is being practical. With the fear of any accidents happening, you stop going out completely is for sure a negative thought. Right from now, you planning a retirement and investing some amount of your earnings is being practical. But, with the fear of losing all the support at old age, you not living your present life, killing the basic desires and saving amount considered to be a negative thinking. Not reacting to the smallest situation at work place or handling the same wisely is being practical. With the fear of losing the Job, bearing all the humiliation or working more than you are supposed to, is a negative thought. If I go on stating the examples, this Article would never come to a conclusion. Now, that we have understood the basic difference between negative thinking and being practical, let’s know how to show an exit gate to negative thinking; It is easy to be positive when everything is going well. The challenge is how you face the problematic situations. Just tell yourself as many times as you can, you are positive, true and can handle the difficult of situation. Let us not let others rule our life or mind. When anyone related to you even bother you, it is up to you if you should give importance to those or not. So, let the work and life go on. Every fraction of second that has gone would never return back. So, it is essential to live every second of your life at the same time plan for tomorrow to always be good. now, this is called a proper positive thought. It is better to inculcate as much as confidence as you can and not seeing the issues to be very serious or horrifying. So what if you lose your job? So what you relationship does not work? So what if you have to wait for some more years to settle down in life? So what if people around you do not like you and want to change according to them? This is not the end of life. You get up, experience the success, fall down at times and again learn to get up. This is the simple funda of life. So, don’t complicate the same and let all those negative thoughts let rule your mind. Be cool, be positive and always be wise, only then we will be happy! SunayanaVinay Kumar
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What is your ‘real’ personality? December 07, 2011 11:40
We talk about growth, development, passion, and living life to the fullest and always welcoming surprises and challenges in our life. Similarly, we categorize our personality to be bold or calm going or easy going or whatever… but, sometimes, in some situations we tend to react and handle the same situations exactly different or even opposite to that of our so called personality type that we have thought so. This is time where we cans sit down and work on analyzing our real personality type. It is better for us, to live the life the way we want to and know our self even before we miss interpret our self… So, let us know the important measures that can help us in knowing our real personality; Each personality type has a different idea of what it means to be successful. Self-knowledge is one common goal that will help everyone achieve personal success. So many people are hung up on somebody else's idea of what it means to be successful, and they are unaware of what is truly important to them. This is completely normal. We all have important role-models and influencers in our lives who may have basic values that are quite different from our own. If this is the case, it's important to recognize that the discrepancy between what we have been taught is truly important and what we personally believe to be truly important is due to a difference in perspective. If we spend our time and effort trying to meet somebody else's idea of success, and ignore or belittle any conflicting messages from our own psyche, then we will find ourselves exhausted and unhappy. Realizing what is truly important to us is a major step towards achieving personal success. As we learn about our personality type and the types of others, we are empowered with an understanding of why people react differently in different situations. When put into the context of Psychological Type, we can better accept and understand people's behaviors that are different from ours. These insights are extremely useful and powerful to us as individuals. However, if we are concerned with growing as individuals, we must take care not to use personality type as an excuse for our inappropriate behavior. While it's powerful and useful to notice that another person's inappropriate behavior may be due to their personality type, we cannot use the same reasoning on ourselves. We should recognize that our personality type has weaknesses, but we must use that knowledge to conquer those weaknesses rather than to excuse poor behavior. We cannot be responsible for other people's behavior, but we can control our own. Accordingly, if we notice that someone seems to be unable to make an impersonal decision that is isolated from human perspective, we should say to ourselves, "Ah ha, here is a Feeler. This person does not use Thinking well, and that is why they're behaving this way." Yet when we as Feelers are presented with a situation that requires an impersonal approach, we should NOT say to ourselves "I am a Feeler, and can't be expected to make decisions based purely on impersonal facts and logic." This kind of rationalization for behavior is certainly an easy way out of a situation, but it enforces the weakness, making it weaker and weaker still. Most of the weaknesses associated with any given personality type are a result of that type's dominant function overtaking the personality to the extent that the other functions become slaves to the dominant function. Although it is natural for every personality to be ruled by its dominant function, it becomes a problem when the supporting functions are not allowed to develop fully on their own because they are too busy "serving the master". In such cases, a personality can become quite imbalanced. There is no quickie scheme that will make you a successful person. Psychological Type is a powerful aid in our quest for excellence, but it is not the actual solution. It is a model that will help you to expand your understanding of human nature. An improved understanding of yourself and others will help you to find, follow or expand your path. An awareness and acceptance of the fact that one personality function may be more effective than another function in a given situation will help you to understand the relevance of personal growth to your life.
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The never ending Question in ‘Life’! December 06, 2011 18:09
Despite a complete clarity of what we have to be in life, what is our passion that drives us towards the success of life, what we like and dislike, what is right or wrong, for that matter, each and every minute aspect of our life… but, did we ever try to answer the root because that is the ‘Life’ itself? Whenever we try to atleast answer the same, we end up in endless thoughts, completely in lost state of mind. We tend to get all that philosophy, psychology and diplomatic thoughts in our thought process and in many cases, give a conclusion that ‘let us take the life as it comes’… Yes, life is full of surprises and unforeseen incidents. You never know or cannot anticipate the next moment in many situations of your life. So, you would strive to achieve your aims and meet the ambitions set by you in this uncertain life itself. Good to you. In addition to this let us read a story that talks much about ‘life’ as such; ‘Father was a hardworking man who delivered bread as a living to support his wife and three children. He spent all his evenings after work attending classes, hoping to improve himself so that he could one day find a better paying job. Except for Sundays, Father hardly ate a meal together with his family. He worked and studied very hard because he wanted to provide his family with the best money could buy. Whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family. The day came when the examination results were announced. To his joy, Father passed, and with distinctions too! Soon after, he was offered a good job as a senior supervisor which paid handsomely. Like a dream come true, Father could now afford to provide his family with life’s little luxuries like nice clothing, fine food and vacation abroad. However, the family still did not get to see father for most of the week. He continued to work very hard, hoping to be promoted to the position of manager. In fact, to make himself a worthily candidate for the promotion, he enrolled for another course in the open university. Again, whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family. Father’s hard work paid off and he was promoted. Jubilantly, he decided to hire a maid to relieve his wife from her domestic tasks. He also felt that their three-room flat was no longer big enough, it would be nice for his family to be able to enjoy the facilities and comfort of a condominium. Having experienced the rewards of his hard work many times before, Father resolved to further his studies and work at being promoted again. The family still did not get to see much of him. In fact, sometimes Father had to work on Sundays entertaining clients. Again, whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family. As expected, Father’s hard work paid off again and he bought a beautiful condominium overlooking the coast of Singapore. On the first Sunday evening at their new home, Father declared to his family that he decided not to take anymore courses or pursue any more promotions. From then on he was going to devote more time to his family. Father did not wake up the next day’. There are many stories or for that matter the day to day experiences we see and face that insist us to stop and think where we are running, for what are we striving, and where all these would take us. Also we think where our real happiness does is… well, in many cases it is when we not just manage but handle both our personal and professional life, be responsible and be happy, fast enough to grab the opportunities that make your career and life grow at the same time calm and composed to peacefully spend quality time with your loved ones, tough enough to get the work done and patient enough to sort out things. And all these balance of life is not is not so easy to attain… work and work till you succeed. After all, you are inventing the most adventurous path, ‘LIFE’! SunayanaVinay Kumar
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Stress in Pregnancy! December 05, 2011 13:20
Even though the Nine months of Pregnancy is a bliss, in reality right from the time you get pregnant and even post delivery, almost everyone of us would suffer from a lot of stress and even more mood swings that sometimes cost our relationship and our mental ability as well. The basic reason of all these stress developing in our mind set being as simple as certain biological and physical changes in our body that would lead to a change in our mind and thought process as well. However, in reality, all this is not as simple as it would appear. The change in our mindset is how we recognize it, handle the same and always stay calm and composed irrespective of the situation. But, in reality, not reacting to a situation is not possible atleast for our human beings. During pregnancy, even you cannot analyze or else know why you are getting frustrated or angry or why you are happy for any situation. Sometimes, these kinds of mood swings would rule our mind without our intention. With all these disturbances, how can we handle them and yet stay the same? Let’s view this perspective from the more positive phase; When you have the basic knowledge of the mood swings, thought process and physical changes ruling your body and mind during pregnancy, work on not reacting to anything in particular. It is better to make your routine, as routine as possible and sometimes you can give yourself a surprise as well, by having your favorite food, or shopping for yourself. More than physical, our mental state of mind works more fast, so please take that thought of pregnant women not being normal and they always suffering from one problem or the other, to happen in your situation as well. You are just welcoming another family member in your life who is special so have the maturity and also that thought process of accepting the changes in life and yet balancing the situations. Be as normal as you can, work as you used to do before pregnancy and take that ‘bit’ of extra care of your health as well. It is better to avoid all that junk food and oily snacks as much as you can for a better physical and mental status. Not only during the pregnancy time, have you needed to concentrate on your health post delivery as well. Because, you would be having an additional responsibility of being a mother as well. So, eat as healthier as you can, just start going to Yoga classes, drink lots of water, try taking a break from regular works as well and get some time for yourself spending that time with your friends, chilling out at a coffee shop, experiencing the nature at the evening by planning a sit out at a park, shopping a bit for your kid as well and most important, spending time with your kid, watching the new born, the innocence and you too getting into that innocence. It is all in us, how we handle the situations be it during pregnancy and post delivery as well. The more happy and healthy you are the more positive atmosphere, people around you and your kid would be. In short, your life would be great!
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Rejection? Oh No! December 03, 2011 18:45
The basic quality to identify a heart apart from it beating, is if you are hurt when you undergo a rejection, that too in a relationship. If yes, then be sure even you have a heart. How much ever brave we are, courage we possess, bold we could be and guts we show, when someone close to our heart comments us or rejects to start/continue a relationship with us, that is where we feel rejected and our heart cannot handle the same. But, we need to live with the situations and rejections rather than expecting the other person to come back to us. What to do? Now that you have faced rejection and experienced it, learn to handle the same. And for this, you can try implementing the following measures; Don’t run out of it: this is a age old practice that we follow while handling any situation, instead running out of the same, we face it. So, let’s implement the same in the scenario of handling rejection as well. Let’s not run out of those emotions, feeling of being rejected and a feeling of ‘I am not fit to be liked by anyone’. All your emotions and situations are passing cloud so even this kind of a mindset. Once we are out of the same, we would start thinking ‘what next’ and move on in our life. But be sure you don’t take any hasty decisions and quick steps that can cost you a lot sometimes your life. Just remember nothing is the end of a life, not relationship atleast. Busy Bee: why do you want to live in a shell or stop everything else that was going on smooth in your life, just because your relationship did not work? if you believe every emotion has its part in your life, don’t let the other emotion or thought or work get disturbed because of something went wrong. Despite of you being handling rejection, learn yourself to keep occupied with some work or the other, get busy in your daily routine, stop discussing about the past with your friends, shop for yourself, concentrate in grooming yourself better, what not you can do. Be in his shoes: you can say, this is an optimistic way to deal a problem; still you can try and see once. Rather than being stuck in a thought of ‘why he did not accept me’, you can always think ‘her has his own reasons of doing so’. And always keep in mind, it is not that you are not correct for him so he has not chosen for you or vice versa, it could be he could not get connected with you or else has his own list of an ideal partner. Stop digging out the reasons and instead start loving yourself. Most important, whatever happens in your life, never loose confidence and love in you. It is highly impossible for you to impress everyone you meet, just inculcate the same thought when you have been rejected. And just remember, ‘to get your kind of a job, you need to face many interviews and only then you would understand what you actually want’, the same statement would apply in the scenario of handling rejection as well. Now, how to fit these two situations is left up to your own ideology… SunayanaVinay Kumar
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Live with it or fight against it! December 02, 2011 11:50
And the ‘It’ in this scenario is facing the ‘Humiliation’. In yesterday’s discussion we had about fighting against 4 Evils of your life and Humiliation being one of them. But, today, when I was just thinking about various situations I have faced in the recent past, I found the necessity to raise the voice against ‘Humiliation’ and I am already on my way to support me and just hit back on the people and the situations that made me face that ‘Humiliation’ which has cut down that self-confidence on me at one point of time. Well, when the problem is known we can work on treating the same. But, the challenge is how do we find out the difference between Humiliation and just letting out the fact. Let’s find out the same with certain examples through the following; When your boss asks you to work again on the output delivered, despite of clearly knowing that, the output you have given in the best at that place and would suffix the purpose and when you ask why you should re work on the same, your boss has his own reasons that are filthy and nothing more, then this is for sure ‘Humiliation’ on you. Please don’t accept and work, whatever boss says is right as even you are paid to put your own mind and not a slave to just agree to the higher official. If you are correct at your own point, then please adopt the nature of ‘Do or Die’ and fight for your existence. Even if you have to leave that job and find a new one, please have confidence in you and take up the situation as it comes. There is no situation that tells an efficient person not being successful in his career. Despite of managing the entire work and yet managing Office as well, despite of becoming one of the major source of family support, your partner or in – laws or even parents are going on taunting you, then there is no necessity to take all that nonsense. Just don’t give all those unimportant things a lot more importance. You don’t expect all these people to know your importance, respect your silence, and change their attitude towards you. It is you who have to protect your existence and let the World know how special you are. So, don’t even think twice on being harsh on those people who behave the same with you without a proper reason. React to the situations. If you don’t then how would you stop that ‘humiliation’? When there would be an end to all those exploitation of people with you? Only if you are tough enough to handle the situation and react to all that is against you, the World would think twice even before touching you. Rather than living in a guiltyof killing yourself and compromising with your entire life, it is better to die after fighting against all the evil that is diminishing your life. Get started for a new you, no matter what! SunayanaVinay Kumar
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4 Evils in you! December 01, 2011 18:58
Not just in you, these four Evils would rule in everyone’s life at some point or the other. Whatever could be the situation, there is just a negative thought needed for these to get into your mind. Once they are in, that’s it, as I said, it would not take much of a time to ruin your entire mind set. Now, let’s know what are these and how to get rid of the same, for a better life; Letting Go of Guilt Often confused with shame, guilty feelings can actually induce positive changes. Guilty feelings and shame both revolve around self-evaluation, but shame is more about you as a person than your behavior or actions. Guilty feelings mean "I did something bad" – it's about actions or behavior. When our actions conflict with our values or beliefs, we have appropriate guilty feelings. Guilt can motivate us to apologize and make amends. If you have guilty feelings, you're more likely to stop the behavior than if you feel ashamed. Letting Go of Shame According to Brown, shame often leads to worse behavior or paralysis. Shame means "I am bad" – it's about who you are as a person (as opposed to guilty feelings). Shame can lead to thoughts such as, "I'm so stupid, thoughtless, uncaring. I'm no good. I have a terrible personality!" Shame is about feeling like an outsider, self-loathing, exposure, and being rejected. It's intensely painful, and makes you feel like you're flawed and unworthy of acceptance. Guilty feelings aren't as pointed. To let go of guilt and shame, you must learn whether you feel guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, or humiliated. Letting go of shame and guilt is important because shame can be the source of more destructive behaviors. If you feel ashamed, you're more likely to continue the behaviors that cause shame – like a negative downward spiral (not a positive upward one, which can be induced by guilty feelings.) Humiliation "People believe they deserve their shame; they do not believe they deserve their humiliation," says Donald Klein in Brown's book. If you think another person's words or actions about your own behavior are unfair and undeserved, then you feel humiliated. This is quite different than guilty feelings. Repeated humiliation often turns to shame. That is, if people insult or demean you constantly, you're more likely to feel bad about yourself. Children who are humiliated are likely to act out or shut down - and their guilty feelings won't lead to positive changes. Embarrassment Brown describes embarrassment as the least powerful of these four emotions. It's fleeting and normal. That is, the behavior is eventually funny and it's something that is generalized to all humans – such as stumbling over a crack in the sidewalk or telling a joke poorly. We know the situation will go away, and we know it happens to everyone. It's not about shame or guilty feelings.
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Mother Hood is no less than a Job! November 30, 2011 12:39
‘What a disgusting statement? Job is something that can be done or left as and when required. But, mother hood is a responsibility and is based on love and bonding with your own child born from your own womb. On the other hand, though there is certain amount of responsibility towards the work we are doing we have all the freedom to shift from one job to another or instead take a break from job. But, neither shifting from one kid to another nor taking a break is possible in the case of parenting. Surely, the writer is out of mind’… I suppose this might be the first thought in your mind, as soon as you had a look on the title. Relax! Please let me tell you my version of understanding. Yes, I do agree that work for a company is entire different from taking care of your baby. The aspects of switch overs, getting bored with the routine, not satisfied pay scale, a better opportunity awaiting outside, and many other aspects would give the exact definition of working for a company and experiencing the mother hood. On the other hand, to sustain in a job a lot more areas than pay scale would matter. You need to be passionate about what you are doing, chose the field that you are keen on, enjoy the work done and maintain the same pace even when lot of work is supposed to be completed at a given time, when your work is appreciated, you feel more happy than that of a hike in the pay scale, you crave for more challenges and last moment hick ups, so that you can take the same an opportunity to complete and prove your capability, you strive for a growth in the profile that you are work on and many other added to the same… In the scenario of experiencing the Mother hood, you will strive to contribute your maximum on the better mental and physical growth of the child, when any odd situation is created by your child you would take the initiative of understanding the problem and your child’s mindset before actually thinking to solve the same, when a relative or a friend appreciates your child’s habits and behavior that’s it, you would feel you are a complete Mother. You strive for supporting your child’s growth, accept the changes in his mindset, work along with him and adjust your thoughts according to his pace, and grow as a mother, friend, philosopher and a guide to him… Now, compare the above two paras and tell me, you did not find any similarities in that od managing a job and managing the mother hood? Yes, I do agree that certain aspects like perks or hikes are not exactly suited to the situation of handling your child, but all the time perks and hikes or recognition is not just monetary, there are lot more emotions that are attached to the same… So, starts experiencing the mother hood as a day to day challenge and strive to survive even succeed in this never ending job, chosen by you, out of love and sacred emotion! SunayanaVinay Kumar
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Liking a Friend? November 29, 2011 16:25
What is right? What is wrong? Any final judgment made on this as we can bluntly follow by saying, ‘Yes, this is right’ or ‘No, this is wrong and we are not supposed to do it’. Every one of us would have our own equations in our life. Based on the same we think or not think. Do or not do each act. To some extent, this is okay. But, do you think this theory of life would be applicable to the matters related to heart? Well, let’s relate to a age old situation of two friends developing a bondage with each other, yet try hiding their emotions and behave as if everything is most normal… This situation would be more complicated and difficult to handle when either or both of these friends are already in a committed relationship with their own partner. Now, why does any friendship would tend to cross that thin line and gets into liking each other? May be because of the quality of time spent with each other, sharing the emotions and thoughts, gelling so very well with each other, all these put together would make you develop that sense of liking on your friend, irrespective of your relationship status of being committed with another person. The first thought that comes into your mind after discovering the fact you like being with your friend is, ‘Oh! No. I should slowly cut down on my friendship. This can lead to any extent and I would end up in a mess’. Why? Why do you think of ending your friendship in a odd situation? Being friends with someone itself is a indication that you like that person, so you both are friends now. And if the same friendship increase due to several meetings and communicating a lot that too in a very high frequency, match of the mindset, your friend respecting your thoughts and you liking the same, you being comfortable in his company, spending some quality time with each other would obviously create that sense of belongingness and even without your consent, you both or atleast you would start liking him/her. Now, what’s a big deal in this Man? There are many relations in our life that is not commitment oriented and would end up building a physical intimacy as well. So what if you are friends with opposite sex? So what if you like him? it is not a crime. It is neither un ethical unless and until you know your priorities and to what extent you want this friendship to go. And it is even not necessary you would end up thinking of being physically intimate with your friend. To what to think and to what not is definitely based on the clarity that you possess on your relationship. So, rather than jumping into conclusions and ending relationships, be matured, understand even you are a human being and also understand liking someone is quite but natural. Of course, though we possess animal instinct in us, we are matured enough to where to draw a line and define each relationship in our lives. Don’t judge, instead understand the instinct of your emotion! SunayanaVinay Kumar
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Man, plan your week! November 28, 2011 14:52
Since ages we are living in a mindset that is more or less disgusting. Right from Monday or right from Sunday evening, we will be so sad that our weekend is over and that boring and nagging week is staring again. We will be so Mechanical and irritated with our routine and job that we would be after the same to finish of each day as fast as possible and right itself from Thursday, we will be in a feel good factor, ‘Yes, finally Friday is coming. I can enjoy the weekend with no work’. Are you okay with this kind of negative mindset of waiting for doing nothing? It is not that I am against weekend celebrations; neither am I a workaholic, to think behind and about work and routine itself. It is just that, with this kind of a thought process we are inculcating more negative life style, we are losing interest in our routine and this makes us more reckless, we are so pissed off with our week days that make our weekends also irritating in a long run. Is this not a alarm that is warning us to bug up our mindset and alter our thoughts for a better living? Right then, let’s waste no more time and execute to plan our week proper, as proper planned work is half done; Prioritize your work Are you supposed to handle any party during that week? Or to deliver a project or work on time? How would be your Monday like? What or how are you planning to work on a Monday first? Does this week require you a lot more work at office? Your kids supposed to give slip tests or any exam at school, if yes, when is the exam dates? Any relatives arriving during the week? Thought of what you would be cooking during the week and do you have the required essentials for the same? Whatever could be the task, plan it to execute the same right from the first day of your week. Try working a bit wise on the first day, so that there are chances likely to carry the same attitude during the week. Love each day, rather than waiting for some days. And of course, if you are pissed off in life because of any one person or situation, please, do not be so very week that any filthy person or a situation can influence your entire life. Over load Man is no less than a machine and similar rules would apply for us as well. Over loading our day with work, craving to give 100% at whatever we do, no proper food intake or sufficient sleep, continuously missing on watching our favorite serial or a show, not having a time for ourselves, would make our week days more un bearable. No matter what, nothing should be a priority than you peace and sufficient rest. Work, but to the extent you can take, rest of the time be it for even a certain time, take rest, chill with a coffee, read a book or simply listen to your favorite track. Don’t plan too much Anything too much, is hard to implement or digest. So, plan but don’t be upset when it does not get executed. Try your level best to work or keep yourself cool. But, when you are out of your mind, don’t just opt being mechanical and do something for the heck of doing it. Be passionate enough to live life. If you don’t cook 3 varieties that day, not achieve your target at work, your kids don’t get A+ grade, you are late for a party by sometime, everything is just okay. Everything else in your life style has a substitute, but your peace does not. Be it a week day or a week end; learn to be the same… learn to be sufficient and happy. Trust me, your life would similar to that of an evening walk with your loved one in your favorite destination! Sunayana Vinay Kumar
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