Be happy.... make happy... June 27, 2012 12:24
Many people have been asking lately HOW they can possibly stay positive with the world seemingly struggling every day. I have come up with seven ways to do so. I encourage and invite my readers to pipe in with their own as well as submit comments on mine. Limit your News (Watching/Reading/Listening) Yes, we can recognize that these are very difficult times for many and that the world economy is uncertain. Watching 3 hours of news or checking the stock market every 2 hours will not change that. Talking about HOW BAD it all is and watching as the news makes everything seem broken will not help you feel good. “The News” makes it all worse and the more you watch and talk about how bad things are the worse you will feel. Yes, I believe you can be informed but 5 minutes daily is more than enough to catch up and move on. If you feel “I HAVE to get MORE news” - why not try a site like “New Earth Daily,” “Happy News” or “Good News is News” instead and see how that affects your daily life? There are always POSITIVE things going on in the world - unfortunately that is not what mass media concentrates on. Appreciate and Take Part in FREE Activities The Local library is a place to borrow free books and movies and to also be a part of your community.A walk to get some sun on your face and be with nature is an amazing way to shift your mood. I grew up in NYC and a walk in a park always put a smile on my face. Now that I live in the country I find it essential for my well being to get out and get moving! Reading is always a good way to feel transported. Get a book from the library or swap books with friends for free and enjoyable reading experiences. Gain some affirmations and/or quotes that you can say when you find yourself getting “off track”. “When you Change the Way you Look at things the Things you Look at Change“ “You must realize everyone is doing the best they can from their own state of consciousness“ “You Have Enough, You Do Enough, You ARE Enough“ HELP Others Whether it is promoting and spreading awareness of wonderful causes like Train for Humanity or getting old clothes together and bringing them to the Salvation Army — there are an unlimited number of ways to GIVE to others. Helping others will fill you with joy. As you give and you are promoting kindness and spreading love. There is always someone that can use help and it does not always have to be monetary help. Take a look around your house and see what you can get rid of — guaranteed there are people that can put whatever you find to good use. I wrote a post a while back “Heal Yourself by Helping Others” that also highlights ways to help that don’t cost a thing. Take CARE of Yourself Physically When people get upset or overwhelmed there is a tendency to "take the easy way" from moment to moment. While a 25 Rupees McDonalds meal might SEEM easier than a grocery trip and making dinner... it will NOT help you in the long run. While bypassing exercise to get in that extra work or to "catch up on news" might SEEM like a better option- you NEED to be moving and taking care of yourself. While sleep may seem like a luxury with “so much to do” it is essential that your body gets the rest it needs to be strong and cope with stress better. While reminding yourself to drink water might be "the last thing on your mind”-drinking water flushes out toxins and is essential for health and in most cases is FREE. Little shifts and being mindful of how you are treating your physical body will enable your emotional body to stay strong and resilient.
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Your partner....no more interested in you??? June 26, 2012 11:17
Is he seeing some one??? Ya, right he no more loves me.... I am no more his interest... or it is as simple that he could be busy with his work... Now, stop imagining situation to be huge and start showing your charm in getting back your partner’s attention towards you; Firstly, stop demanding attention Nothing makes a guy run away faster, than a girl who creates a scene, demanding to know why he has not been paying attention to her lately. Don’t beg or quarrel with your partner or he will think you are just being dramatic. There may be several reasons for your man’s waning interest, and some of them may even have nothing to do with you. Stress at work, ill-health or anxiety over his family often depress a man’s romantic urge. So start by finding out where the source of his loss of interest lies and then you can take it from there. Don’t be jealous If your man’s attention to you is on the wane, the first thing you might suspect is his seeing someone else. Being jealous, is however a sign of low-self esteem and that is just not cute. So, stop obsessing over what he has been doing and who he has been meeting, since you will only be exhausting yourself and driving your man further away. Focus on yourself The surest way to get your man pay attention to you, is to get back your own attention on yourself. Keep yourself busy in work and play. Take up a new hobby, or join a sports team of your own choice. Expand your own circle of friends and colleagues, so that when he hangs out with his pals, you can enjoy yourself with yours. Initially, your man will be relieved to get his own space, and then intrigued enough to find out what or who has been keeping you so busy without him. See if you can be one of the gang Try to be friends with your partner’s pals. This does not mean that you have to start guzzling beer or go ecstatic over a game of darts. Just be cheerful and positive. Your partner’s friends too will like to hang around with you, while your man will enjoy having your company as well as his pals’. Take the initiative Get out of the habit of always leaving your man to plan your dates. Do some creative thinking, and see if you can come up with some interesting date ideas. For instance, you could hire a chauffeur-driven limo, take your partner out for a movie or theatre, and round off the evening with dinner at a place of his choice. This will not only get his attention, but perhaps make him glad enough to want to reciprocate the next time. Ask yourself why If you feel that your man has been avoiding you of late, consider the reasons why he may be doing so. If there is no third person involved, may be something in your behaviour is driving him away. Are you always nagging him to do something he doesn’t like, or have you been asking him to change some aspect of his personality? Remember, you fell in love with the person he is, and it is unfair to want to change him now. If you want just a little behaviour modification, consider motivating him by being a role model yourself. Let him have his personal space While love brings two people together, the need for some personal space remains. No matter how intimate a relationship, partners need to spend some time away from each other, in order to revive their own selves. When one of the partners begins to get too overwhelming, the other may feel the need to draw back. So don’t grudge your man his need for some breathing space. Let him have a night out with his friends or spend an afternoon at his golf club. You may find him returning refreshed and ready to spend some quality time with you.
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A perfect date for a perfect relationship! June 25, 2012 10:34
Weekend, two complete days to spend... irrespective of your marital status, if you are involved in a relationship, this is the time to add on that ‘extra’ time and love to enhance the memories of your relationship… Why not go to a good coffee shop, chill out and chat and watch life go by. Try to make sure there is spacious seating and somewhere quite to sit. Have an espresso and desert. Find somewhere with nice views. Go for a walk along the beach and secretly book a hotel and stay over, plan the stay, book a place with something special like a four poster bed. Cook a nice meal for your date and make sure your partner not lift a finger this includes men and women. Just think if your date has had a stressful time at work or drive home and he or she gets home to totally relax for the evening or weekend. Go for a romantic walk in the park and have a picnic. Find out what her or his dream is and sure it comes true for him or her. Go to a Jazz or Comedy club. Go to a Romantic Wine bar. Some Garden Centers have excellent restaurants and produce and other attractions. You could eat in the restaurant or go back and cook the produce you have bought. Playing miniature crazy golf can also be fun and produce a few laughs. If it snowing going out and playing outside for a walk in a forest or in the snow near a lake or river and then coming home to the warm and having some warm soup and having something nice to eat. Going to the movies, if there is a horror movie you never know your date might need a cuddle and this could be a good chance to have a chat so that you can get to know each other. There is a lot of fun in planning the event and seeing the reaction on your date's face. If the relationship is new it can give you some lasting memories if you spend the time putting the effort in to the date. Sometimes forward planning says a lot more about you about you and how you feel and how you have planned your romantic date, this can speak more about you than words. It is important to keep your relationship going you may not realize how much you miss that special person until they are gone. Find build and maintain your relationship to get the most out of it. It is fun and rewarding giving and you will get as much in the end if that person loves you in return out of the relationship. Routine is no more a favorite for our life or even our profession… when you aim at your life to be full of surprises and happiness, make your partner happy as well…
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Improve communication at work place! June 23, 2012 14:55
No matter in what domain we are working, communication has become mandatory at work place... we do our bit to improve our communication for a better work flow with others as well… get some more expert advice on how to improve communication at work place; When communication flows through a company, knowledge is shared, achievements are celebrated and issues are addressed. When a company does not communicate well, information silos develop, with individual departments unaware of the happenings in the rest of the organization. The result is often poor customer service, low morale and reduced productivity. There is plenty of incentive for companies to ensure that the lines of communication are open throughout an organization. Creating a a strong communication network does not have to be difficult.Intranet Site An important tool in creating a communication-friendly organization is the development of an intranet site. A password protected site is perfect for sharing broadcast-type messages to the entire company, such as promotions, new products and success stories. It is also a great place to provide information regarding dress codes, vacations and extra-curricular staff activities. It becomes the central repository of all types of shared information, making it available on-demand to anyone seeking specific information about their company. Intranet sites are easy to develop using off-the-shelf tools and can be updated with new information easily.Face-to-Face Meetings In an age of rapid-fire emails, text messages and omnipresent smartphones, every employee is inundated with short bursts of information. What is often missing is context and a deeper understanding of the issues affecting the company. In fact, Inc. Magazine reports that a study by University of California, Los Angeles psychology professor Albert Mehrabian found that 55 percent of meaning in an interaction comes from facial and body language and 38 percent comes from vocal inflection. Only 7 percent of an interaction's meaning is derived from the words themselves. When complicated messages are reduced to text, much of the meaning is lost. One way to avoid this issue is to reinstate regularly scheduled staff meetings in which strategies, new opportunities and challenges are explored, ensuring everyone fully understands the company's position.Communication Framework One important aspect of creating an open communication environment is to link communication among employees as a measurable goal during performance reviews. The mechanics will change by role, but information technology professionals might be expected to share research information with other members of the team, human resources professionals might be expected to share information on promotions and hires on the company's intranet site and sales staff may be expected to share their ongoing leads with other salesmen. By codifying expectations for specific sharing of information, a company shows the importance it places on all communications.
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The Art of taking a break from Work... June 21, 2012 11:06
‘What is so artistic behind this??? Do you take a break from eating, sleep or refreshing up??? Then why taking a break from work???'... Well, I would say, this kind of a thought process is not motivating towards work all the time... now, taking a break may not really refer to abscond from work as such... it could be a day to day breaks during working hours that give you a much needed breathing space or taking a day’s off from work as well... know more further... When you’re taking a break, you’re clearing your head. You want to be just abandoning work, which is why I suggest using a timer. So set a timer for five minutes, 10, 15 minutes, however long you want to take a break. The timer is watching the time, you are not watching the time. You’re not stressed about time. The timer will tell you when it’s time to go back to work. You just leave work behind; and I would suggest, very strongly, that you get away from the computer. If you really want to have a break and rest your mind, go read a book, go for a walk, get outside, go make yourself something to eat. Get away from the computer. The worst kind of break is when you flip over to a website and you just start wandering over the internet. The problem with that kind of break is A: it doesn’t really rest you; you don’t really come back with any more rest from that and B: the problem is that you can turn a little oh, I’ll just check this website and it’s two hours later and you’re thinking where did my time go? I got nothing done. It’s the break that suddenly took over your day. Now it’s ruined your day. So, use a timer and get away from the computer. Stand up and get away from the computer!If you are taking a day’s off... Organize things and bring work to a logical stopping point. Make sure your associates are up to speed and can handle certain responsibilities while you're away. Cut the cord. Disengage from your workplace as much as possible. When practical, keep the monitoring of e-mail and phone messages to a minimum and set ground rules for when you need to be contacted. Take it easy. Don't run your vacation like your job, by trying to cram museums and other sites into a daily to-do list that only exhausts you.
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Life during menopause... June 20, 2012 12:03
‘You are no more that ‘cool’ Mom who would be a friend to your teenage kid... no more that calm and composed wife... no more that super mom who would manage 100 things at a time with same amount of patience... no wonder if you lose your temper and get hyper for no reason... and then you understand you are welcomed to the phase of menopause in your life, that happens during 40s of your age...' Not only those 3 days in a month, even during the menopause stage that welcomes a lot more issues to our life is even more crucial for every woman... to handle this stage, it is necessary to know the mindset and the behavioral traits of us during this stage… you might have had a vague idea about menopause, let us know more about it now; During middle age, women are faced with menopause and this can at times be rather frightening. There are a lot of technical articles about menopause and there are a lot of myths about menopause. It can be a challenge for women to learn how to deal with the annoying symptoms of menopause. There are some handy strategies that you can use to handle these annoying symptoms and make life in general much easier. How to Handle Annoying Mood Swings Associated With Menopause Give yourself permission to own your feelings and to have times that are rough. Sometimes in the middle of an annoying crying spell from menopause, we stop and think that we are losing our minds. We panic because we don't want to be sad and other times we feel self conscious because everything is so hilarious to us. Give yourself permission to have feelings and know that you are not insane. A natural way to handle the mood swings of menopause is to develop some new coping skills. You can journal daily, take relaxing baths, go for short walks, socialize on the Internet and even use aromatherapy. Getting your mind off of menopause and coping with the different annoying mood swings will greatly help. Chamomille and lavender are great for reducing moods. How to Handle Annoying Hot Flashes Associated With Menopause In many women, annoying hot flashes set in. You know the moments where you would give anything to just completely strip naked and get your body cooled down. The problem with annoying hot flashes is that often they occur at bad places. I was standing in line at the grocery store and suddenly pouring with sweat and flush. Everyone around me gave me weird stares and I felt so self-conscious. I certainly wasn't going to announce that I was having a menopause hot flash. Many women can relate to this scenario when it comes to annoying hot flashes. One of the most natural methods for handling annoying hot flashes during menopause is to increase your water consumption. Many times we do not get in the full eight glasses of water that we need daily. Water will help to keep the body temperature more steady and actually reduce the number of annoying hot flashes. The recommended dosage of vitamin E and a small amount of primrose oil is believed to also reduce annoying hot flashes. Annoying Vaginal Dryness and Menopause Another annoying symptom of menopause is vaginal dryness. As the estrogen in the body decreases, so does the amount of moisture in this area of the woman's body. A natural way to help with this problem is to increase the amount of vitamin C, beta carotene and selenium that is in the diet. You can get these from the foods that you eat or use a nutritional supplement to help out with the problem. Just accept this to be like any other phase in your life and don’t let your peace affect because of just a phase...
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Pregnancy... what is the right time??? June 19, 2012 10:50
Experiencing mother hood is not a bliss for all… could be unhealthy relationship with family and spouse, pregnancy being a hurdle to career, just want some more time to handle this new responsibility in your life or you are just not ready for it... there are infinite reasons you are not ready for pregnancy... Of course, it is your life and don’t care a damn about what rest World has to think on you getting or not getting pregnant… for your clarity at least, just know when and at what time you is better for you to plan your motherhood for raising your kid in a right manner; Age does play an important role in getting pregnant. Whether you are fit for your age, and whether or not you look like your age, your body indeed knows exactly how old you are. Your reproductive system knows it, too. The optimum age for fertility for women begins at the age of 18. Until about the age of 25, women will be at their most fertile, and most likely to get pregnant. Beginning around 25 or 26, a woman’s fertility starts to decline. This decline is relatively gradual for the next ten years, however. It is not until the age of 35 that the process of losing fertility begins to speed up more rapidly. By the time a woman reaches the age of 40, she is exponentially more likely to have problems getting pregnant. In fact, around 2/3 of women who are over the age of 40 will have issues with infertility of some sort or another. To be sure, statistics are just statistics. It is possible, obviously, to become pregnant before the age of 18. In fact, a woman can become pregnant as soon as she starts to ovulate. In some girls, this can occur as early as age 11. On the other end of things, it is definitely possible for a woman who is 50 to become pregnant. In fact, a woman can become pregnant right up until she stops ovulating (which is generally indicated by the onset of menopause). Men’s bodies work a little differently. Male fertility is generally high all the way until they are near the end of their thirties. By the age of 50, around a third of men will experience a decrease in the amount or number of sperm that are produced. Still, two thirds of men will not experience any loss of fertility until they are even much older than that. Having said all of this, the “best” age for getting pregnant may or may not be when you are most fertile. Getting pregnant at 18, for example, can create a variety of problems, as can getting pregnant later in life. It may not be ideal for a woman to become pregnant when she is most fertile. She may wish to spend some time working on her career or pursuing advanced educational goals before becoming pregnant. Therefore, the “best” age is really up to the individuals involved.
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Keep clean on social media to avoid future embarassments June 18, 2012 17:50
Well peers advice the techie's to keep a clean image on the social network. After being in social network becoming next to inevtable, the best is to stay mild on announcements. Especially the age is that you make or break on the social networks. And maintaining a clean image plays a very important role in future. It so happens that as you make friends, find partners on the social highway, you are viewd by many unknown across the infohighway. Awrong message could devastate your chances say peers. Especially for women and teens posting photos is a hobby and this if not with in limits could prove disastrous as your in-laws also could be on the same networks and your unintentional action could cost your reputation. As a leading online media source says, `When social networks intersect with India's hoary arranged marriage system, what you get is a generation of jumpy social networkers.' Well the morale policy is just not restricted to the eves alone and this could be the same for the males too say experts. Out of the leaf of a news bite some times back in the northern part of the country a couple fought over their status. It so happened that a newly wedded couple went for a divorce with in the first two months after marriage. And do you believe the shots was called by the bride who told the judge that she wanted divorce from the man as he had not changed the FB status to married. Because of this she could smell his malafide intentions. While the groom argued that it was oversight but she said that it was done intentionally. Situation could differ but the problems are sure to persist with no restriction on what one posts on the social media. An email is different and a social network differs. However just because there is some thing bad in the issue the scores of the goodies cannot be avoided while using social media. So happy networking with a clean approach is the order of the day!! (With inputs from internet-AarKay)
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You like your Job-You don’t like your Job??? June 18, 2012 16:11
Life itself is a big time confusion at times... everything seems to be alright, but actually it’s not... you seem to be liking everything around you and that you are doing, but you can feel this is actually not true... this would be applicable in the scenario of you being 'happy' with your job, for the sake of being it, but could feel something is going wrong and you are no more enjoying your job... let me help you with addressing some common signs that implicate you to quit your job, which you just don’t tend to give importance; There is no passion-I made this number one for a reason. If you have no passion for your job, then the rest of these signs don’t matter. Finding your passion can be a difficult thing. Sometimes it seems like there isn’t one, sometimes it seems like there are too many. I don’t claim to know a tried and true way to find your passion. But when you do find it, do everything in your power to integrate it with your career. It will no longer be a job to at this point. If you would do your job on your own time, even if you weren’t getting paid for it, that is a good sign that you have a passion for it. Good luck! You don’t get paid enough-If you are just barely scraping by month to month or are getting yourself into a lot of debt, you might not be getting paid enough. Yes, you might be making horrible choices with your money as well, but it could be your payment. Are you living frugally, spending your money very carefully, and still find it hard to get ahead? If that is so then you are not getting paid enough! You are uncomfortable or don’t get along with coworkers-These are the people that you will be spending time with for at least 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, 4 weeks a month, 12 months a year. If you are not getting along with them or don’t feel comfortable around them, then it might be time to move on. However, if everything else is working out, do what you can to fix this one. You dread going to work each day-Like I said before, I would dread going to work each day. I would dread it at the beginning of my weekend! This is not healthy. Over time it will drive you crazy and will most likely just keep getting worse. Don’t submit yourself to something you dread for a living. Your work schedule does not fit into your life-Some people like a hectic schedule that never stays the same. But I don’t! My previous schedule was complete chaos. I never knew what to expect for the week ahead and therefore could not make plans too far in advance. This is also true for the night shift. I did it for 3 months and it really messed with me. If you can handle it, good for you. If not, get out of there or change your schedule!Too long of a commute- This is another one that alone may not be enough to change your job, but with others, it could be. A long commute will drain your time, energy, and money. Is the passion you have for your job worth all of that? If so, great. If not, find something closer. Your strengths are not being utilized- If you seem to be hitting a wall with your progress at your job or just don’t seem to understand it or get better at it, this could be a sign. Some things are difficult to learn, so give it some time before deciding to try something new. If you do change, find something that utilizes the strengths you already have! You have no desire to be the best you can be at your job - One sign that you are not in the right field is lack of effort. Your job should be something that you put all of yourself into. You need to genuinely care about your job and want to succeed. If you can’t get into this mindset with your current job, think about a job that you would care about and put your all into. Remember nothing is the end of life, not even quitting your Job, if you really want to try something else!
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A love less marriage is easy to live??? June 16, 2012 15:47
In a recent survey about the judgment on the harmony in the marriage… it seems more than 80% of married couples are surviving in a love less marriage either for the society or for their children… the following analysis might help you to think from a better perspective about your marriage as such; love less marriage, this term makes it seem as if the spouses never even cared for each other at all or that the possibility of establishing love is not possible. This makes it very difficult for you to begin to bring love in to the marriage. It is better to acknowledge that your marriage is not at its best right now and that you will have to take effort to make it work. The intimacy issues can be fixed. Stop thinking that your marriage is loveless and begin taking steps to fix it. It is very important that you stop caring what other people think about your marriage. Your personal life and marriage are for you to focus on and no one else. There may be many entities that will have people believing that if you do not show affection all the time with your spouse than there are obviously marital problems. This is understandable as people that have committed to be married do have a close connection that is deeply rooted in love and intimacy. However, if any of these traits are missing from your marriage at this point it does not mean that your marriage is doomed or that you cannot reclaim your marriage. You just need to focus more on implementing these traits into the marriage. Stop worrying about how others perceive your union and begin the process of fixing it so that you and your spouse can be happy. Don't allow people on the outside to determine what you need to do to make your marriage a happy one. Don't Settle For a Loveless Marriage: There are many people that choose to remain in a marriage that is without love either because they want to avoid hurting someone or they are doing it in the best interest of the children. The truth is that both the children and your partner are aware that something is amiss. It is very important to note that children are aware of the lack of affection between their parents and if they are raised in such an environment are more likely to fall into the trap of having a marriage that is devoid of love also. Counseling professionals often note that one of the most important things you can give both yourself and your children is the sight of two people that really love one another. This piece of advice should not be taken lightly at all as it is very true that children model what their parents show them. In many ways, parents are the ones that show their children how to live their lives. You must remember that your children are being provided with an example of how to live their lives each day, and they will take this with them into adulthood. Children are able to see that their home is different from other people's homes, and ultimately this will affect the way in which they are able to form and maintain relationships with others. Growing up in an environment that is devoid of love can deeply affect children in the future. This is in no way being said to make you feel bad about your home life or to say that your children are not being raised properly. This is a being revealed in order to make it very clear that your actions could very well be affecting your children on a level that you don't comprehend. Being Happy for Yourself: It is always very important for you to also look at your own personal happiness while working on improving your marriage as a whole. It will be very hard for you to get what you want from the marriage if you are not personally fulfilled. You first have to make yourself happy and then you focus on being happy with another person. It is far easily for you to be in a balanced relationship with another person when you have taken the responsibility for making yourself happy. Basically, you have to be happy with yourself in order to be in a position where you can effectively make the marriage better for both parties.
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From a childish boy friend to a responsible husband... June 15, 2012 12:35
I suppose only this transformation can prove to be a back bone for the success of any relationship... it is so rightly said all is fair in love but not in keeping up a marriage... you may have fallen in love with all those childish qualities of your boy friend, but the same may not have been liked by you once he have become your Husband... you can play a key role in helping him to transform to be more responsible by asking him to go through the following... Take responsibility Don't do things you know are wrong and then blame others. If you make a mistake, take responsibility for your actions. One of the meanings of the word "husband" is someone who skillfully manages his household. A manager takes responsibility. There is little sympathy for a man who blames a woman for something that has gone wrong. He's often still held responsible. People will ask him, "Why did you let it go on?" A man has to look at himself and see how he can change his own actions to properly handle similar situations. Show leadership If a man wants to be seen as worthy and have a good relationship with a woman, he has to show leadership. When he sees a situation that needs to be dealt with, he should step forward and handle it. People admire those who step forward to handle difficult situations. We don't admire those who stand back and wait for others to solve the problem. Some men avoid taking the lead because they don't want to be criticized. They think they're playing it safe. A man should say, "I'll handle it," and take the initiative to find solutions. If he's not sure what the solution is, do what other leaders do -- consult the many sources of information available. Make decisions One of the meanings of the word "manly" is being decisive. A man needs to make decisions and take responsibility for the outcome. If he's reluctant to make decisions, she may resent him. Part of making decisions is understanding the other person's views and being flexible. She doesn't want someone controlling her, but she also doesn't want someone who leaves every decision to her. A man who is afraid of making a wrong decision should ask himself: Who should make decisions?-- someone who isn't afraid of making mistakes. Be strongSomeone who can control his anger is better than a physically strong man who can conquer a city. Blowing up in anger can seriously damage a relationship. If a man thinks he can't control his anger, he should imagine being angry at someone, the telephone rings and it's his boss. Would he calm down? Of course, or he'd lose his job. Not getting angry doesn't mean he accepts bad treatment; he calmly sets limits on the treatment he accepts from others. Be manly Being manly is not being macho. Manliness is the positive qualities of decisiveness, strength in one's convictions, confidence, self-reliance, high moral qualities, self discipline, honesty and integrity. A man who is manly has courage to be able to deal with difficulty, pain or danger without backing away despite his fear.
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Spell your magic on your mother - in - law... June 14, 2012 11:53
It is good that in many of the daily saas - bahu sagas these days, the harmony and the positive relationship between the bahu and saas is being showcased... if you are seriously inspired by these and wish your real life relationship with your mother - in - law to be continued in peace, for your peace of mind more than anything else, here are some mantras that can be chanted to help you change the age old rule that saas - bahu can never be at peace under one roof, Keep talking. Don't clam up and simmer in silence when she says something that upsets you. It's possible to let her know what you don't like, and why, without causing major offence. For example: 'I realise you're only trying to help, but it makes me feel immature when you give me advice I haven't asked for. There are lots of things I'd really value your advice on, but I'd find it much more helpful if I could ask you first.' Appreciate her good points. Come on, even dragons have their pleasant side! Instead of fuming when she's cleaned your kitchen from top to bottom, why not thank her for being so helpful and feel pleased that you didn't have to do it for once? It's amazing how much gentler she'll be if she sees, every so often, that you do value her. Ask her advice. She never approves of your cooking? Turn the situation around by asking her: 'I'd like to cook Fred a s pecial meal. Is there anything you can think of that he'd really enjoy?' That way she'll still feel involved, by being given the chance to contribute, but you haven't let her take over. Visit her. If she's in the habit of turning up at your house unannounced, it's a sign she probably feels excluded from your life, which can make her want to interfere more. It's often easily solved by calling on her instead. Pop in for a coffee every so often, which shows her you're thinking of her but takes away her need to drop in on you unexpectedly. Keep it light. So what if she runs her finger through the quarter-inch of dust gathering on the windowsill? By turning it into a joke: ('Hey - I keep that there to write 'I love you' to Fred!') you're telling her that you don't have the same priorities as she does...and you're happy with that. You're making an important point in a fun way, without causing offence. 'Mothers-in-law can be a real source of support. Daughters-in-law need to recognise that and not automatically assume things will be difficult, which often may alienate the mother in law unnecessarily.'If you start off with a bad relationship, and let her get away with making you feel inadequate, the less likely things are to change. The more confident you are about your position in her son's life, the easier you'll get on. 'If you let things lie, and never tackle her, it will cause problems not just between you and her, but also between you and her son.
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