Handling Criticism at work or home, especially when you are surrounded with people and some one or a loved one criticizing you for no matter what, is definitely a difficult task and requires lots of positivity in your min... these guidelines could actually help you to handle the situation, if you are actually facing the same;
"Who are you to judge?" should help you work out in your mind whether the person is qualified to critique you. If they are someone who has consistently treated you with care, trust, and respect, or a customer, or you know there’s a genuine basis for the criticism, hear them out.
If they are someone who claims to be trying to help you and being ‘honest’, while being dishonest about their own part or even deluded about who they are, they are not qualified to be telling you who you are or giving you improvements tips.
Accept that you cannot like or love 'everything', just like you cannot be liked and loved by 'everyone'. If you have this burning desire to gain someone’s approval, question it. What do you think you’re going to experience?
Even when you do express actual disapproval or they do, it's not the end of life as you know it. Whatever the disapproval is, it doesn’t put a final judgement on someone. What it may do is show a difference in values, which means you’re incompatible. Buh-bye!
When you refuse to accept feedback and yes, at times, criticism, you're saying "I have nothing to learn" and "You cannot say anything that I don't like because you’ll upset me." No relationship of any kind, romantic or otherwise, can progress even an inch without the room for respectful feedback and at times, yes, criticism.
When you accept that you can and will experience it, you can prepare positively for it, by having the self-esteem and perspective to take it.
Don’t react immediately. One of the first things you’ll learn by not having an instant reaction and running with it, is that the sky doesn’t fall down and whatever you think that the worst is, isn’t happening. Don’t reply (if you’re face to face) until you’ve taken a few breaths, relaxed into yourself and feel a bit more balanced. Definitely don’t fire off texts or emails in anger.
If you immediately react angrily or defensively, you'll likely end up feeling regretful and then believing that the criticism or manner of conflict was justified even if it wasn’t. You’ll then focus on your reaction and making amends for that, instead of the issue at hand.
Someone who adds value to your life, will bite the bullet and say the necessary and the uncomfortable because they want to see you succeed. You’ll also find that someone who is genuinely offering you feedback, isn’t basing the need to or desired outcome on something to do with them.
When you deem that someone disapproves of you, whether it’s because they’re not interested, or they make a criticism, or they don’t want the relationship that you want, that doesn’t mean that you are unacceptable. They’re just one person, who I must point out again, are just not that special.
Sometimes criticism really isn't about you, which of course is weird to hear when it appears to be directed at you. Sometimes when people lash out, it's also about their own circumstances, especially when you realise that their reaction is so disproportionate to the matter at hand, it sure as hell isn’t all about you.
Is there any truth in the criticism? What is it that you don't like about it? You don't have to accept a criticism in its entirety, but if you do recognise the truth, don't ignore it.
It's OK to compromise, which is finding a solution that you can both live with, but this is very different to compromising yourself by sacrificing your boundaries and values. Make sure that you recognise the difference.
You’re not a child anymore, so make sure that you look at criticism and conflict through adult eyes and adjust your perspective. Now that you're an adult, how would you teach a child how to cope with not always hearing what they want to or dealing with conflict? Now pass some of that advice on to you.
Own your right to express disapproval and to deal with or even instigate conflict, and you will respect the right of people to express their disapproval or to instigate their own conflict. You don’t have to like it and neither do they, but this is better than feeling victimised when you silence yourself or go against you.
