Fortunately, all my friends also are working Woman. Now, why I am fortunate because, I can relate my work life, personal life and work life balance and so on with them.

Let me share an issue that happened with me at my work place, recently. Any extra work that turns up or any 11th hour work always comes to me from my Boss. ‘I don’t want to do that work, I wish I could ask my Boss, why only I being her first option of her, when any extra work comes? Everyone else escape from work, they are not passionate and dedicated towards the work, but yet, nobody bothers about what are they doing. It is only me that is working in Office? This is it. I give a damn about what my Boss thinks. I can’t take anything more right now’, each time my Boss asks me to do any work that is apart from a daily routine, and this is how I used to feel. But, never had I used to let my expressions out.

This was being going on for a while. Without my knowledge I have started getting my work place frustrations, travelling all the way with me in an auto, even after me leaving the Office, to my Home. Even on weekends and Holidays, I used to only think about one thing, ‘Why only me who is being targeted at work. Is this a way to let me know that I need to quit the Job by myself? Am I not worth of working along with others in the organization? All these years of my work experience, fetched me in no way? What should I do to get rid of this pressure? Should I myself put my papers in the organization?’

Believe me, these thoughts used to keep my mind occupy all the time. This made me stay away from having a good time with my family, thinking and living my life the way I wanted to. I have come to such a situation that, despite of being with my family and friends, I used to always think about my status in the office. I used to curse myself of being a slave in my organization.

It was during this time, I happened to meet one of my friends Haritha. Over a casual talk, we happen to discuss our professional life too. I was in one of my moods to share what is happening with my thoughts and shared all the above with my friend. She took a deep breath after listening to all these, and gave that wired laugh. This irritated me to the core. ‘How could she be so mean? How can she laugh over my problems? Have I become that Cheap?’, these were the thoughts going on my mind, that time.

Haritha, then started off saying, ‘All these troubles and Hurdles that you are facing are completely created by you. I may sound rude, but this is what the fact is. I agree that you are being bombarded with work, extra loaded with more than one responsibility. Your hard work is speaking, people can see you working, but why should they bother? Why will they bother? You are completing how much ever given work within the deadline, and this is what they require. Why would they think about your mindset? Are they your loved ones, friends, or your family to read your mind? They are just colleagues. And more over, Bosses are trained to behave like this. no boss will think of being concerned towards his employee. At the end of the day, they are only worried about the output.

And, why do you even compare your work, your ability with others? No two people are alike. And what if anyone escapes from work? Are you concerned about them, or jealous that you are not able to escape from the responsibilities as they do?

Everything is in you. No one else is dictating your life. It is you who are allowing them to do so. Tell me one thing, if you so very feel over loaded, why can’t you straight away go to your boss and say the same thing? Why can’t you say ‘No’? You are making yourself a slave by nodding your head to every damn thing that is happening.

It is your life. So, be confident and make people understand that even your personal life is important as much your work is. Go, speak to your Boss, tell her what you can do, what you can’t what timings you can be flexible in adjusting your work with. Talk everything.
I suppose you are not taking a step because you are worried this could lead to you loosing the Job. But, this means that you are not confident about your ability of work itself. Think and take a decision’

This explanation given by her actually changed the entire way of my thinking. I felt ashamed for not being thinking like her. But, then I remembered, ‘No two people think alike’. My friend has shown me a path. The very next day, I straight away went to my boss after reaching the Office, explained how over loaded I would feel if all the work burden is put on me, made her understand my priorities apart from Office and yes, also made clear on my roles, responsibilities and even work timings. Surprisingly, nothing negative happened. Neither my boss got down in an argument with me, neither nagged on anything that I spoke. She only said one thing, ‘I am glad that you are able to speak for yourself, and able to finally say ‘No’.

Then I understood, it is all in us. People will see us, based on how we project ourselves. It is all about the way we communicate things.

Today, my life is full of colors. I work, manage my home, spend time for myself and family and even visit relatives in and out. And most important, me and Haritha, often go out for a Coffee. We no more talk about our troubles. We just Chill. Hope you too would, very soon!

Sunayana Vinay Kumar