‘Oh! My Mother – in – law. She is a big torture I tell you. She always wants what I am speaking to my husband, with whom I am on phone? Where I am going out, every time I step out of the house, what I am wearing, why I am wearing, about my look, my behavior and the way I cook, I handle the house hold work. Gosh! She has a problem with everything I do… inta hi problem hai toh, why did she have married her son to me? It would have been better agar apne bête ko ghar pe hi rakti toh’… this is a version of a Daughter – in – Law.
‘My Daughter – in – law… what can I tell about her? She is a spoiled kid and I do not understand how did her parents bought up was so worst? She is not a marriage material at all. She does not know how to respect the elders. She cannot manage a household work and all the time is interested in going out and spending time with friends. She, being a married Woman, does not know how to behave with other male friends of her and my son. From the day my son got married to her, hamaara beta toh hamaara nahi rahaa… she rules my son’s mind and income too. I am sure, she will completely make my son turn towards her within no time’… this is a Mother – in – law ka version about her daughter – in – law.
Now, it is so that this ‘saas – bahu’ saga has to go on till the World is alive? Why it is so happening that a mother – in – law not finding her daughter – in – law a perfeact match to her son, and a daughter – in – law, finding her ‘saas’ as a ‘chudail’? it so happens that a mother – in – law can never be a mother to her daughter – in – law and vice versa? The discrimination between ‘bahu’ and ‘beti’ is bound to prevail? Are all mothers so over possessive about their ‘beta’, that they are not able to digest their ‘laadla beta’ accepting his wife and giving equal or some times more importance to her than his mother?
Can’t we put an end to this?
Well, there is a problem in every household, there are certain exceptions too. At times, we are also shocked to see the ultimate understanding, love and affection between ‘saas’ and ‘bahu’ and no one can separate them. But, in the case of majority the first scenario I have mentioned would prevail. What to do? How to get rid of this situation? Does being separate from the in laws are the only solution?
Think over, as this might not be the ultimate solution. It is all about accepting the parents of your husband, as you have accepted your parents. Those entire daughter – in – laws out there, just think, does your mother – in – law, more or less resemble to your mother? Even your mother keeps an eye on what are you wearing, with whom you are going out and speaking and where are you going, how responsible you are, what about your planning towards the finances and other things and what are you thinking?
On the other hand, all you mother – in – laws, time for you to compare your daughter – in – laws, with your daughter too. Even your daughter believes in living the moment, she is a bit careless, somewhat irresponsible, just does certain things without thinking, wants to escape the house hold work and chill and always wants to be ‘bindaas’.
I understand, with certain new relationships in your life, certain responsibilities and change in your self is bound to be inculcated. But, the challenge is when you adapt yourself to the new change from every time to time and move along with your life.
It is all about living together and not complaining. Just remember the un avoidable fact of life that, if you desire your life to be perfect, you need to be a daughter – in – law and a mother – in – law too. Now, when you can’t avoid the same, accept is and the person as she is.
Now, if you feel at any point your self – respect is being hurt, rather than making a issue out of it and costing you and your family’s peace of mind, just calm down, let the other person calm down, sit and discuss.
Your intention of being together and being happy together must be perfect. Then I am sure you will also be the same like that of ‘Suhaana and her family’ in Star Plus ka mega successful serial ‘Sasuraal Gendaa Pool’…
Good Luck for a new beginning!
Sunayana Vinay Kumar