The 10 Most Common Reasons For Divorce:- An ugly word, carrying connotations of unhappiness, failure and prolonged legal maneuvers is referred as “divorce”. Marriage is not always easy and the sad reality is not that all “I dos end with a happily ever after, no matter how much two individuals love each other.
Though the often stated factoid that 50% of all marriages end in divorce, was always an exaggeration the fact of the matter is that divorce is still all-too common, and virtually no one going through it is prepared for it.
Though the great Leo Tolstoy famously wrote, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way,” this is not precisely true. Failed relationships tend couples to take divorce. For every couple, the reasons that marriage fail and end in divorce are hardly unique.
So how does this happen? What are the real reasons for divorce? Let us look at the 10 most common reasons that lead to divorce.
Top 10 Reasons for Divorce
The break down of most marriages that end in divorce is mostly caused due to extra-marital affairs. The reasons why people cheat are not as cut and dry as our anger may lead us to believe. The common underlying reasons for cheating, along with differences in sexual appetite and lack of emotional intimacy are anger and resentment.
Infidelity often begins as a seemingly innocent friendship. It starts as an emotional affair which later becomes a physical affair.
A marriage can be strained to the breaking point, due to everything from different spending habits and financial goals to one spouse, making considerably more money than the other, causing a power struggle. Money really touches everything. It impacts people’s lives. Clearly, money and stress do seem to go hand in hand for many couples.
3. Lack Of Communication
In marriage, communication is crucial and all the aspects of a marriage are impacted if you are not being able to communicate effectively quickly. This thus leads to resentment and frustration for both. On the other hand, the foundation of a strong marriage is a good communication. The unhealthy methods of communication that need to be ditched in a marriage are yelling at your spouse, not talking enough throughout the day, making nasty comments to express yourself.
Practicing mindful communication, to change age-old marriage mistakes, can be hard but it is well worth the effort to improve and save your relationship.
4. Constant Arguing
Constant arguing kills many relationships, from quarreling about chores to arguing about the kids. Couples who seem to keep having the same argument over again often do so because they feel they are not being heard or appreciated. Many find it hard to see the other person’s point of view, which leads to a lot of arguing without ever coming to a resolution.
5. Weight Gain
Though it may seem awfully superficial or unfair, but weight gain is a common reason for divorce. In some cases, the other spouse tends to become less physically attracted due to a significant amount of weight gain, while for others, weight gain takes a toll on their self-esteem, which trickles into issues with intimacy.
6. Unrealistic Expectations
It is easy to go into a marriage with lofty expectations; expecting your spouse and the marriage to live up to your image of what they should be. Such expectations can put a lot of strain on the other person, leaving you feeling let down and setting your spouse up for failure.
7. Lack Of Intimacy
Not feeling connected to your partner can quickly ruin a marriage because it leaves couples feeling as though they are living with a stranger or more like roommates than spouses. This can be from a lack of physical or emotional intimacy and is not always about sex. If you are constantly giving your spouse the cold shoulder, then know that over time it can become the grounds for divorce.
Making your relationship intimate and special is the responsibility of both partners. Practice little acts of kindness, appreciation and enjoy physical intimacy as much as possible to sweeten your relationship.
8. Lack Of Equality
When one partner feels that they take on more responsibility in the marriage, it can change their view of the other person and lead to resentment. Through their own and unique set of challenge, every couple must negotiate and find their own way of living together as two equals enjoy a respectful, harmonious and joyful relationship.
9. Not Being Prepared For Marriage
Surprisingly, many number of couples of all ages have blamed the death of their relationship as not being prepared for married life. Among couples in their 20s, the divorce rates are highest. In the first 10 years of marriage, almost half the divorces occur; especially between the fourth and eighth anniversary, the rate is high.
A sad reality for some couples is the physical or emotional abuse. The deep emotional issues are usually to blame. No one should tolerate abuse, regardless of the reason and removing yourself from the relationship safely is important.
No marriage is easy. Even couples with the best intentions are sometimes unable to overcome their challenges and end up in court rooms. And that is why it is important to address issues in your relationship early on.
- Do not wait until they are beyond fixing. Practice kindness, make intimacy a priority, go on holidays and seek marriage counseling (even when things are fine) to preserve the health and longevity of your relationship.
- Try your very best before you decide that things are beyond your control and it is time to give up. That way you can have the peace of knowing you tried all of the alternatives before the big step.